Thursday, 30 May 2013

My dear Wife.....&..... Today while I was shopping..............

My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 22-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset—I shall be home before midnight. 

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: 

My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old. As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 22 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths  you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 22 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 22. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Today :

I never expected a routine shopping trip at our local shops, to end up at the Police Station. 

This afternoon, in the chip aisle, I was stopped by a Middle Eastern man,in his early 20's, with an intellectual disability. 

He stopped me and said 'hello' and held out his hand as if to want to shake mine.

I said 'hello' back, but he didn't move but came closer extending his hand out more, so I politely shook it, and then went to remove it from his grasp.

But the man had my hand then, and he was now shoving it inside his jacket and holding it tightly under his arm pit. 

'Tickle me' he asked.

'No' and I tried to take back my arm.

'Tickle me' he said louder.

'I don't want to tickle you, NO' I said more firm, but it made no difference.

An old lady was coming closer and saw my distress and stopped to watch.

By this stage I had my arm back out of his jacket but he caught my wrist and was pushing up my sleeve. I used my other hand to pull my sleeve back down, as he push it up again, and took my spare hand and was trying to force me to cuddle him.

'Tickle me please' he said.

'NO' snatching my hands back and looking around for some help.

He then held my semi exposed arm and began dragging it down the front of his shirt towards his penis.

'Please Tickle me' he groan at me again.

Now I was freaked out. Cornered, and no where to run, can't run anyway, sore back, thinking this man is going to hurt my back if he tugs me down any harder, I just SCREAMED out at the to of my lungs my hubby's name, who was a few aisles down. 

This made him stop, and he said 'No, no, no...', and waving his arms about as if I needed to stop screaming and he ran away. 

All this took place with child 2 standing next to me. We both where a bit shocked. The store manager checked the footage, and now the police will contact centre management so that the other shop owners will be aware if he comes out shopping again. 

It was really surreal, and has left me a little shaken. He is a strong lad, and really should not be allowed to roam about alone, with those kind of sexual urges.

Hubby went out to look for him, but he was long gone. I am OK now now. The staff were really nice to me. But honestly people like that should not be allowed out without a carer.


  1. As someone who is afflicted with that rare Hawaiian malady, Lackanookie, I found The Penis Poem entertaining. Thanks for the chuckles.

    I can't say as much for your experience in the grocery. Surreal, indeed.

  2. Such a terrible and scary thing to have happen to you. I agree, someone like that really needs a carer for everybodies protection, including his own

  3. It was at the time , but it already feels like it happened an age ago. So surreal. I have so much crap to deal with at the moment I do not even have the space in my brain to spare a thought.

    Yes I do hope he gets pulled up, and his carers alerted strongly to the dangers of letting him roam around freely.

    I for one am proud that I found my voice and screamed LOUD. I guess growing up sexually abused as taught me one thing, and that is I DO NOT CHOOSE TO BE A VICTIM any more!