Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Bye Bye 2013................................



Another year, how quickly the time flies. So now the New Year Resolutions begin...I don't think I will bother with it this year, as I never really stick to them. Maybe that could be one...I wont make one.....there I have achieved it already.

Well I have been sitting here craving some Baileys Irish cream whiskey, and I think I may have to pop by the shops and grab a bottle before we count in the New Year. But I have also been thinking of the year that is now soon over and counting my blessings. Sure I have grumbled, and cried, but without a few rumbles we wouldn't ever see the highs. So I am going to be grateful for the year that was, and keep an open mind for the next. I would love to hear what you have planed for New Year??? Any resolutions set?? How are we all celebrating the New Year??



So let's look back at the year that was......

JANUARY:

4 baby kittens running around the house. 2 birthdays and a lovely anniversary date by the sea.

FEBRUARY:

Tears as each baby kitten left our home. Both boys starting new school year with great teachers.


MARCH:

Proved to be on the stressful bitchy side of life. Lack of sex, romance, sleep and over working took the smiles away for a while.  Dinning room floor repaired and I bought a new car!


APRIL:

Was a kick in the pants and my body was saying you did too much in March, and it knocked me down big time. Not my best moment, and I am still recovering. Not only me but hubby too. 8 weeks off work, pain, but work was really good to us. So for that I am really grateful.

MAY:

Still off work. Reading novel after novel...Hubby's B'day. Was molested in the supermarket... Starting to feel better. Still not having Sex. Our car finally delivered...but sat in the drive for 2 whole weeks before hubby was able to drive it. First big drive was to the doctors.. lol


JUNE:

Missy's B'day and her  Uni flops, boyfriend woes, and hubby's Mr Melty man returns. Let's just say THANK GOODNESS for CHOCOLATE because it got me through.


JULY:

Hubby brought home flowers...he didn't buy them....they were destined to be thrown out...but they were nice...and I was chuffed. It was also the month for handy man things. The shower mess with the white coloured silicon. I still cringe when I think about it. My ipod music refusing to load up on the computer and into my library, which has rendered it almost useless. Full of hubby's music mostly and with no way of updating to new songs. Another school holidays over.

AUGUST:

Winter almost over, starting to feel better, life becoming more normal. Missy left Uni, dumped boyfriend, and is now doing TAFE and is happy. We got the lease renewed for another year without a rent increase, and a new stove!


SEPTEMBER:

Another B'day. Hubby decides to upgrade me into the new century with a tablet of my own. I hinted for a lap top, but he insisted a tablet was better...between you and me it wasn't, but I am finding new ways to use it, and it is a nice handy time waster. Mynx introduced me to PANDORA  radio, and I LOVE IT. Now I have an oversized ipod. But I have modern music whenever I want to hear it. Poor ipod has been left to collect dust. Was told I talk too much at work! LOL


OCTOBER:

Another set back with the old back. At work this time. Still can't do up the shoes and socks. Celebrated 27 years of being with my hubby. Feeling very romantic indeed. 


NOVEMBER:

So very worn out. Doctors, chiro, physio seems to be my life now. Getting sorted for Christmas, my best friend B'day, can't forget that. Missy has a new man in her life. Boys doing well at school. Overall life is just rumbling by.


DECEMBER:

Missy scores a new job. Christmas goes off without a hitch. Work is really good. My back is the same, but it hasn't gotten any worse. Summer has finally arrived. SCHOOL HOLIDAYS too YEAH...... mishap with family over gift giving, always fun.... sweet lady at work bought me a box of chocolates, and I got a pat on the back from the new store manager for a job well done. So I was pretty touched by that. Not a bad way to end the working year.



I have 3 beautiful kids. I have a sweet caring hubby, who still loves me despite me getting so bloody FAT! 3 lazy cats. A roof over my head. A car with air-conditioning and nice radio. Good job, with nice people to work with. Lovely sweet friends who don't mind  I am in my PJ's with a wheat bag down my pants. I have so much to be happy about.


I am really over 2013 now......I am looking forward to 2014, and hope that it is set back free, and full of lovely sweet things. 

I wish you all HEALTH, LOVE, and PEACE. Oh and great SEX. Yeah I like that idea. 2013 was not a good year for sex. Definitely have  A LOT of catching up to do there. lol  Maybe 2014 can be the year Criss gets her back her mojo! 

We shall see???


Whatever you are planning, be safe, be happy.

As for me, I will most likely be in my PJ's by 9 pm, watching TV, or playing on the computer. We might have another family Wii event? Who knows?? We like to chill, and not plan, just go with the flow. Missy has a party to go to, so it's just me and my boys. Maybe I can start the year with a bang??? 


HUGS and much LOVE 




HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE may it be better than the last. 




Thursday, 26 December 2013

Happy Ho Ho Ho day...............




 I hope you are enjoying , or have enjoyed your Christmas day!



Ours was a hot 34 degrees and just perfect BBQ and salad type weather.
Hard to believe we had fun and sun, and around the world people are cold and covered in ice. I think I  like my Christmas sunny side up!


I started feeling the Christmas stress earlier on. More money going out than coming in. Family upsets, and a whole lot of planning, wrapping, shopping, working and dealing with others who were even more frantic than me......it was all too much.




But then we popped the tree up, and the slowly the gifts started to gather and the boys got more and more excited as the days got closer. Even Missy was excited. Her first well paid job, and she was shopping up a storm, and soon there was things under the tree for Hubby and me too, and I wondered what on earth she had possibly bought..........


Then child 3 and I had a week and a bit of CHRISTMAS MOVIES..... starting with Santa Clause 1...2...3

THEN   the funny ELF.....


Followed by Authur Christmas....I must admit I really like this one.......


Then Christmas night our baby boy , after a long day of sweets and treats, and toys, fell asleep in front of the telly watching THE POLAR EXPRESS.....


It actually was nice. I found myself looking forward to our evenings cuddled up and watching Christmas movies. I think it even sparked some Christmas spirit back in me.

Christmas Eve we took the boys to look at the Christmas lights about the neighbourhood. One house was amazing. They even had someone outside with a hose blowing white foam over all the people gathered. It actually looked like snow, and our boys, especially the youngest was loving it. The street was packed with other like minded people and their families. It was warm, and late, and kids , cars, mums, dads, grandparents, and uncles, aunts, all blocking the road stopping and chatting and taking photos.....I have never seen the streets around here so busy. The atmosphere was lovely.



Then the big day arrived.......FINALLY! Mind you I spent the day before with the kids frantically cleaning...Why ?? I am still not sure...no one was coming over....but I seem compelled by some kind of Christmas tradition and so we CLEANED the shit of the place...and all was clean and tidy...and the Christmas spirits were happy. 


Table set, desserts made..... Christmas place-mats out of the cupboard and on the table.



Child 2 and I cooked up the BBQ, and Missy out did herself with this years gift giving. First real pay check and she was very sweet and generous. The boys loved what she got them. Lazer tag.......they played for hours. She bought Hubby and I GOLD CLASS movie tickets, so we will go see "NOAH" when it comes out. It can be a late wedding anniversary date day.   That is coming up very soon.

The pav turned out well. Santa Cake was store bought. I am NOT that clever.


We ended the day with Wii Sports..... Bowling, Golf, Tennis.....my golf has improved a lot this year.


Missy looked lovely when the boyfriend showed up at 5 pm to pick her up for Christmas dinner with his family.  He bought her a push bike. So now she can ride to work. One day she will get a licence. lol Not sure when she is back home, but it will be before the 6th Jan, she has to be back at work then....and her room is CLEAN!

Now I am already worrying about B'days. I have no idea this year what to do?? Missy wants to send child 2 who will be 11 this year a HOGWARTS letter. I will have to look for a template.

24 years of marriage to celebrate in there too. JANUARY is a very busy month.

But for now, my after Christmas plan is  to SLEEP IN, and do NOT MUCH!  Except look forward to the Christmas boxing day specials of Doctor Who, and Downton Abbey.



 This time last year we had these little guys running about the house ... so cute! 






Anyway must tackle the mess, and then settle with a nice cup of tea.

 HUGS and Loads of LOVE

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx










Saturday, 21 December 2013

I really can't wait for this to be over........................







CHRISTMAS  you  make it what you want it to be. Grab a friend and have a laugh. Watch a movie, or get on line and catch up on what everyone one else is doing.

For me, I will work......then come home Xmas eve and get all the food ready....I don't want too....I have too.....then Xmas day I will make the dessert, and serve the food, and fuss and make sure everyone is OK....I will get tired, and cranky....not show the cranky side, don't want to spoil it for everyone, because I will be most likely the only one willing to move their backside and clean up. Given that I am having a good day and can actually manage it all with out drugging myself up.

I will smile at my kids gifts, and pretend I really love them, cause they are my kids and that was the best they could do, and it is the thought that counts, and I hope that it is something I can actually  really like. Fingers crossed, Missy is working now, so she has been busy wrapping this year so we are all in for surprises, which is nice.

My hubby will have nothing for me. Despite the fact that I have his favourite chocolates, and new PJ's.....he needs them. I am OK with that, we are saving for some much needed house hold appliances .  Washing Machine, Vac, and a better computer. But he wont have thought of anything simple. Nor will he fuss over our wedding anniversary. Which is just over a  week later. He isn't Mr romance. That doesn't bother me. It isn't what he buys me that has kept me with him all these years, and that is my point. 

But we will do the pictures and in that sec snap shot it will seem that we are having the most wonderful magical day. But it was just a snapshot, a second in time, a second later the kids may have had a fight, and I would have most likely yelled at them, and hubby switched off and went onto the computer and did what he does everyday, it is just another day with the added bonus of gifts for the kids.


Honestly.  It saddens me to think there are people out there thinking that every family is doing the Hallmark Christmas. For a lot it is just a day off, a rest , and apart from presents, the day is pretty much normal. I will read face book, maybe farm. We might watch a movie, Hubby will play TANKS, the boys their games, and hopefully play with their Santa/mum and dad presents.  

Back to work after that, and it is business as usual, and just as well as we have to pay back our credit cards.

But despite all the humdrum, and drama, we have each other. I wouldn't want it any other way. I just hate the way TV makes it seem all perfect. The perfect wife, husband , kids, cake, house.....WHO ARE THEY KIDDING!

Yesterday I got an email from my sister who was very upset that I had forgotten to include a Christmas gift in my parcel to my nephew. It was just an over sight. I always send him a gift card, he is 19, working, very trendy, and let's face it, who knows what his tastes are....safe way is to just let him choose. They live interstate. We haven't seen each other in almost 10 years.

During the year she and I do not seem to connect via email any more,  she is on face book, but rarely communicates, and honestly I have not much of an idea what she is up to these days. I know she has met someone special, and she seems happy, and she bought a unit, and is working at the job she always wanted, and I am really proud and happy for her.

But this made me think. I never  ever hear from them what my nephew buys with his birthday /Christmas money....I never get THANK YOU from him.....and now that Missy is working and earning more than me, and he works, I thought why are we doing this?? They are old enough to take ownership themselves.  So I wrote to her to discuss the option of killing off the older kids and just thinking of each other. 


I, as you guys know, have had the worst year  with health. Money is tight due to all the days off work I had to have, and I am doing the best I can with what I have. My kids are  getting very little this year. 2 presents each. One from us and one from SANTA. That is it.

I guess it annoyed me that she was able to make me feel so shitty about forgetting. I rushed to the post office, bought a $50 credit visa gift card and sent it express post. $60 later, and I am heading into work and getting really annoyed that I spent $60 on a kid who may not really understand how much of a sacrifice that was at that time. That is just over half my days pay. We have....correction had....$400 until next pay, which is after the holidays. I have food shopping to do with that. It was my last cash. I had bought the presents, and paid the bills. It also annoyed me I had spent double on him than my own daughter! Her presents I scored from eBay. She will love them, it's what she wanted, and I know she will be happy, but I may never know if he was happy?? He may just say "Oh another fucking gift card...big deal" ??? Who knows??

I explained my year to my sister, and gave her a heads up about how her baby sister is getting on. I was polite, and honest. I am fucked....let's face it....44 and my kids need to help me get dressed...that's pretty fucked.  I am still waiting to hear back?? But between us, I think the buying for the big kids should be over......especially in our messed up family.

SO MY ADVISE TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE GETTING READY TO BE SAD ON CHRISTMAS DAY......
The best thing we did for ourselves is give up on TRADITION.

Cut yourself some slack. REALLY most people spend the day driving here and there and getting tired and pissed off, to see people they do not even want to spend time with, so forget the movies and just chill out.

It helps having all your family live far away. Can't help that it is just how it is. We created our own family. We gathered friends, and they have become new family. 

But honestly, if it wasn't for the boys I wouldn't even put up the tree.

But you can fake it a bit. Today I watched Xmas movies with the kids, and I must admit that if you try and make a small effort it does feel good. I think the trick is to just go with the flow. Forget the hype. Do what makes you feel good. 

If that is a walk along the beach, lunch at a friends, crying over a girlie chick flick in your PJ's, or  going to look at Christmas lights. Staying home and doing NOTHING. There are no rules. 

BE HAPPY with the little things you have got in this world. The small comforts. There is far too much loneliness................I wish that I could change that for everyone.


Christmas is just a commercial machine. It's meaning is lost, and the Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns will be out the day Christmas is over.  

So whatever you are doing this Christmas day, just don't stress the small stuff. Don't feel sorry for yourself, and do something nice for you. I am going to not stress. BBQ lunch, and just kick back, most likely on the computer or by the TV. Nothing but a weekend type of day.  Just us....perfect.

Not everyone is HAPPY HAPPY JOLLY, and MERRY. Most can't even really afford it. So SMILE, be happy with what you have got, because around the world on CHRISTMAS DAY, our WARS are still on, bad things are still happening, people are still made to work.....just like my daughter last year. Remember to be nice to all those shop people who have had to put up with CRANKY, FRANTIC, STRESSED OUT people, who think it's OK to yell at them because your shop is not staying open till midnight today.......WE HAVE FAMILIES TOO PEOPLE!! This is why I HATE this HOLIDAY. IT BRINGS OUT THE SELFISHNESS IN PEOPLE. I WANT I WANT  I WANT .............HE GOT MORE THAN ME........................YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME BACK EQUAL TO WHAT I GAVE YOU..................BULLSHIT PEOPLE it is all CRAP!

LOVE the ones you have, your cat, dog, kids, partner, friend, mum, dad, WHATEVER. JUST LOVE and be GRATEFUL. IT's not about the Tree, or the presents, or the best roast.  

I hope you have a good day no matter what you are doing. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!



 

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas..................................




Another Christmas, another year, time for families, and time for cheer........... I hope that this Christmas is sweet, and filled with smiles, and happy moments and full of style. You may not have much, or a huge tree, you may not have huge families, or a lot of holiday cheer, but if you have just one person who cares and loves you much, then you are a lucky person, and you have so much.


As for us, the presents are bought, although a lot less than last year, they are wrapped, and placed under the tree. I have a few hidden away for a surprise Christmas day, our children are still little so little surprises are  still fun. They no longer believe in Santa, I never really encouraged that much. I got really pissed off one year when the fat man got all the fuss. So after that I made sure the best presents where from us, and all the crappy cheap stuff was from the man in fluff.

I can not believe we are here again, and what a huge year it has been. There have been huge highs and many lows, but here we are, and the seasons still come and go. 

It hasn't been very nice for many this year. Break ups, were many, wars to extreme, our oceans are dying, and there is no going back. So no shrimp on the Barbie,  no seafood for us. The ocean is sick, from the plankton to the whale, thank you radiation, you know how to sail. 

Here in Australia it seems it will be a HOT. Today marks the start of a week long HEAT WAVE. The temperatures will be in the high 40's. So hot roasted dinners are out of the question. Good old BBQ, cold salads and desserts, and just us and maybe Missy's new boyfriend, will pop by for a bit. She is spending most of Christmas day with him. His parents are divorced so he will be spending his day doing breakfast at mums, dinner at dad's and maybe lunch with us.....I am exhausted just thinking about it.



I am looking forward to the much needed break. A break from the Christmas carols at work, and the manic crazy stressed customers too. Soon it will all be back to normal, and another year will being. But the wars continue, the suffering shows no end, and good old bloody Oxfam ( Comic Relief ) has been raising money for al the disgusting  cheats. All the good people donating good old hard earn cash, thinking they are helping, when really they are  helping wankers invest in the arms trade, and tabacco, and the poor kids still have NO BLOODY CLEAN WATER!!

The weather is crazy, mother nature is hitting back, comets, metor showers, signs in the heavens........the planet is changing, there is no going back. Fracking, and poisons,  the corporates don't care, they line their pockets, and do it with flare, and now this year it is snowing in Vietnam!



The crews of the aircraft carries who went to help Japan are all sick and dying of a rainbow array of cancers DAMN. It seems the ships take in sea water and convert it to drinking water. They drank, cooked with and showered in radiated seawater, and now they are dying! It is now legal for anyone in Japan to report on what is happening  to the people there. 


So I ask that you spare a moment to think about your world, just for a moment, during your merry making. Think about the children of Syria, who this year will be lucky to stay alive for the day. Be grateful, for you families, and the nice food on your plate. For next year we may not be so lucky, things can change at alarming rates. 

So this year my gift is to be KIND. To show some EMPATHY, it really is no crime, and it's completely FREE. 

LOVE much, and expect little. OPEN YOUR HEART, and spare a simple smile, it could spark a ripple, and it could travel a mile.

Enjoy your loved ones, and never forget to tell them, that you LOVE them, tell them often, for you have today, but you have no idea about tomorrow.



BE SAFE this Christmas, drive safe on the road. We are so lucky, we have much to be happy for this Christmas. May yours be a very MERRY CHRISTMAS....... 


now I will leave you with this funny.......



 


carol-singers





1. Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? 
 
2. Amnesia - I Don’t Remember If I’ll Be Home for Christmas 
 
3. Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing about Me 
 
4. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire
 Hydrants and. . . 
 
5. Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Queens Disoriented Are 
 
6. Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming to Get Us 
 
7. Borderline Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Shout, I’m Gonna Cry, and I’ll Not Tell You Why 
 
8. Full Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting You on an Open Fire 
 
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
 
 
10. Agoraphobia - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave
My House
 
 
11. Senile Dementia - Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe 
 
12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned The House Down 
 
13. Social Anxiety Disorder - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate 
 
14. Attention Deficit Disorder - We Wish You……Hey Look!! It’s Snowing



Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Well hello again.....................



Today I bumped into a lady I work with. She has just spent the year off work.....why you ask?? I wish I could say it was an extending holiday...lotto win.....a trip around the world....but sadly it was so she could spend every moment with her husband. This time last year he was told he had 2 weeks to leave......he died 2 weeks ago. They had been married for 38 years, together for 40. 

Even though she is full of sadness and loss, and I have no wish to ever want to understand what she is going through, she impressed me with her honesty, and grace. Her life is not over. She is sadly still here. Nights are the lonely, and she can't sleep.........but she is taking it one day at a time, and my heart just goes out to her.

A very good reminder of how short and precious life is.........



 ....It really made me think....I have just spent 3 almost sleepless nights. I have no idea why I am not sleeping. Probably too busy worrying about Christmas, and work, and my back, and my teen aged daughter, and what the fuck I need to buy for Christmas bloody lunch.

I am not really a huge fan of Christmas. I see it as a commercial nightmare. I do love watching the kids open their presents on Christmas morning, but then the day is pretty much back to same old....just with  a lot of extra cooking and cleaning. So over it. The shopping, planning, cooking, fussing..........if the kids were not little I wouldn't even bother. Honestly! Retail has sucked the fun out of it all. If I was rich I'd go away each Christmas and spend it by a pool with my family and just forget all the bull shit friendliness reserved for just this time of year with people who are never fucking around for the rest of it.

I must say this year has been my cheapest as I have cut out  a lot of people from my shopping list. Family or no family. You are grown up, working, and you never think us. So what the hell am I worried about you for? You will be fine. I cared for you, but that doesn't mean I am a door mat. 

So Christmas this year has become about the people in my life who give a fuck. Who are there when things are bad, and when things are great, and when things are  just things...and life is just boring..........these people I care about and wish to give back to in my small Criss way.... I think that is so much more real than all this pretend bullshit.


 


 So for the sake of the boys the tree went up again this year lights and all. It looks rather pretty at night with the lights on, but my tablet isn't the best for photo's but you get the idea.... and so far the cats have not tried to climb it!




 Now we have been really sick these past few weeks. We seem to have caught a rather nasty flu bug that was going around, and yours truly wasn't spared and I spent 5 days unable to eat, and being sick, and feverish, and rather yucky. Happy to report that we are all back to almost normal, just all still getting tried still.........not that it helps me to sleep!


So I went totally domestic as soon as I felt half way decent. This house was covered from top to bottom with antiseptic cleaners, and I even did the light switches. You name it, what ever those little grotty buggers could touch was utterly cleansed with in an inch of it's life. The house smelled like a mixture of Glen 20, and Pine-o-clean and bleach. There was no way I was going back for round 2.



With getting better, so did my frisky feelings, and I was so looking forward to the weekend. Miss was away all weekend, and I had the weekend off. 2 nights of Hubby time, and fun, and hopefully sex...........


...instead hubby had a shit time at work, and brought it all home, and so my beautiful romantic candle lit dinner was over run by almost  two hours of ranting and venting about work. He was pretty pissed, and rightly so, and he needed someone to talk to, and who better for that than me.... which I am happy to do.....It was just bad timing...no ones fault...but he was depressed, and pissed, and so no fun was had FRIDAY or SATURDAY or SUNDAY or........maybe that is why I can't sleep???????????


This is Molly. She has recently taken a liking to our bed. She has been my day time bed buddy all weekend. This time last year we were all waiting the arrival of her kittens. Hard to believe that was 12 months ago!



Even though I can be barking mad sometimes, I do have much to be happy about, and that is after all what is important right? I love this crazy bunch of misfits to bits.


True story.............ask anyone who knows me! On the other hand best not!!!!!


Oh how I wish it was this easy........................................lol


So night after night I lie there  awake, trying hard not to look at the clock.....THINKING............TURNING............fluffing pillows............ more THINKING.........



....and wishing that my hubby would cheer up, and feel better and ravish me so I can SLEEP AGAIN!!!!!!!


Don't think about sex I tell myself.....sssshhhhhhhh.......shut-up or you will never get to bloody sleep.........................Fuck it's now 2am.........you went to bed 3 hours ago...................what shall we have for Christmas lunch............was that the cat..............................did I pay the phone bill...........................


Sorry was I thinking in type mode again wasn't I ?????






...and then there was this incident...........shall I call it my senior moment of the year???



YES I DID............yes that, exactly that............................ I got up, and showered, dressed, and got the boys to school, and Miss to her job, then drove 25 mins into work. Got there a bit early, sat in the lunch room for a bit then clocked on and went out on to the shop floor and began my day with my customers............

After about a minute or two, my boss for the day asks what I am doing with a funny grin on her face..... WORKING......like dah....what else would I be doing here in my uniform behind the counter???

She shook her head.....I looked puzzled....she looked at the roster book, and as she scrolled her finger across the printed black type it all started to make perfect sense.


I had screwed up my weeks. I was indeed working that day......I was just 8 bloody hours EARLY!


So I was sent back home to where my shame was exposed to all, and was greeted affectionately by hubby who could only say.........
YOU DICK HEAD!

lol

It's been a hell of a few weeks like I said........... I hope things soon, well once Christmas is over.......start to just mellow out and be simple.



SO just in case I forget who I am or where I am.........do have a lovely CHRISTMAS.......I am bound to catch up before then  I hope....


HUGS as always



Stay safe..................