Saturday, 29 June 2013

A Saturday Funny......................

A Husband comes home drunk, vomits and falls down on the floor. Wife gets him up and cleans everything.

Next day when he gets up he expects her to be really angry with him. He braces for a fight, but finds a note near the table.

"Honey, your favourite breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy groceries. I'll come running back to you, my love. I love you.

Surprised, he asks his son, "What happened last night?"

The Son replies, "When mum got you up to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt. You were dead drunk and you said,

"Hey Lady! Leave Me Alone. I'm Married!!"

Hoping you are having an awesome weekend so far. 

Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Oh shit we are out of chocolate.....

It's been a few weeks now, possibly a month, I don't know, I've stop counting the days. I haven't been marking the dates, I have lost total track of our sex life!

There was a time, not that long ago, I could have told you exactly the last time I had sex. I could have also told you if it was good, blah, or ripping awesome. But something has changed. It's not that I don't care. It's not that I don't want to make sweet hot passionate love to my spunky hubby. Yes I think he is hot, despite the fact he thinks my glasses are faulty. I just am OK with it.

Since our back issues, and now at the moment the nagging cough, which the magic onion seems to not care that much about, hubby has been suffering from the Mr Melty, and since knowing this, I seem to going out in sympathy. I have lost all my libido, and for me that is EPIC, as I am normally a self confessed horn bag. Well just for my hubby...which is OK...cause he rocks my world, and I just can't say no to him, and I LOVE having sex with him, and I LOVE how he can drive me insane. In a good know what I mean.....Yes you do....and no I will not give you details...use your imagination....

I guess getting sick, having constant pain, and popping pills, isn't really a great factor for getting your sexy on. Hubby thinks it is the back medication he is taking. He believes that since taking this medication he can't get himself off at all. It is a catch 22. If he stops the medication he will hurt himself at work, and that will not be good for anyone. He is a sexual man, he likes sex, he likes having sex with me. Even when I am no longer 18, size 10, and very perky. So I guess I have to wonder if it will ever come back? Will we ever have awesome mind blowing sex again, and will there come a time, when I get so bloody horny I will explode? Or maybe that is gone too? FUCK?

Of course it will. It's just been a very stressful time. Stress can cause these things right? I we read about the nasty effects of stress all the time. Stress even caused my recent upset down stairs...I thought something was dead down there....Thrush maybe....just not nice....turns out it was STRESS. Stress had caused my vagina to become an alien life form, and over produce the natural normal goodies we make down there. Like good little micros they excelled, and created a new planet...and as a natural defence against possible intruders, produced the nasty most yuck smell I have ever produced. I'd rather a hubby fart than that!

It didn't help that I, like any woman would have done I am sure, made it worse by washing down there too much. I was washing it that much that I was actually preventing my body from correcting itself with it's normal natural cleansing agents. I was stripping them away. Using nice smelling soap to rid myself of the smell, and feel clean.

So after a dose of antibiotics, which then gave me THRUSH....joys of womanhood..yeah me.... it was all sorted. I just have to not over wash, and avoid soap there, and NOT STRESS!

That is where the CHOCOLATE comes in. Don't is a proven fact that chocolate reduces stress, and makes you happy....I guess I have subconsciously been substituting SEX for CHOCOLATE. SHIT, really????

Well it's I have not wanted to rip my man's head off once. We are doing OK. We are better than OK. He isn't threaten  or afraid of my over the top libido any more and and so he isn't depressed about his lack of man-hood. I am not upset and crying myself to sleep in the false belief that he finally has realised that I am old and saggy, and FAT, and therefore not loveable.

HE LOVES ME...I LOVE HIM....and SEX does not define that.

Once we are back on track, and the bills all paid, and the nagging issues about the lease, the oven, the shower, the new landlord, my back improved where I can put on my own bloody shoes and shave my bloody legs, are all sorted, I honestly think our MOJO's will come back with a BIG BANG!

Yes, I am sure it will................................???

Monday, 24 June 2013


Well we have made it to yet another Monday. The start of the working week, and thank heaven's the sun was out.

I wasn't sure if I would be getting out of bed this morning and dragging my sorry arse to work, but I woke up and felt OK.

You see on Friday night I too had succumbed to the icky cold virus. Scratchy sore throat, runny nose, sneezing, and generally feeling yuck. Thanks must be given to the 100 or so customers who breathed on me while shopping sick, and also to my sick colleges who came to work rather than stay home in bed.

Great, just what I need, more time off work. NO WAY. Not me. I put my money where my mouth is, and did what I have been telling people at work to do for the last 2 weeks............... I cut an ONION.

Now I know you are probably saying...yes the stress has finally cracked hope, she is a goner! 

But wait...... it really works!

I did use this remedy on my sick kittens remember, but I was still to test the onion on myself.

The theory is that the onion drags in and soaks up all the bugs in the air around you. It magically sucks it out of you.

Yes the room did stink, and the onion did bring water to my eyes, but at the same time it cleared the sinuses and allowed me to sleep and breathe at the same time.

HONESTLY.....Saturday morning I should have woke up feeling like death...instead I was only suffering a little sniffle, and my throat was still no worse. Not better, but not worse. I was able to cook my man lasagne for dinner. Now when I am super sick, I can't do that! So I spent the weekend warm, and well topped up on ginger ,honey ,lemon tea, and chicken broth laced with garlic. Yes I know....smelly me...but it was just the hubby and the kids, so all good.

Saturday night I left hubby early, and put myself to bed...with a fresh onion by my bedside table. REST.

Sunday again was spent the same way, but I was already much better. To be safe I took another onion to bed with me, and this morning woke up well. Well I still have a bit of a sniffle, but I do not need anything other than a cough drop. For me that is great. Normally I'd be sick, fever, and at the doctors.

So it WORKS. Try it next time you feel a cold coming on. Cut an onion in half, skin on. Place on a plate next to you, and just let it do it's magic. Throw it out after 24 hours.

I am still doing my best to not get all worried about things in advance, but for now I am just trying to sort out our little man. Back to the hospital tomorrow to discuss the results of this trail period of drugs for his ADHD.

Is it wrong that I want to ask if we can have something that lasts longer than just school hours?

He is amazing on the drug. It is so nice. He is helpful, and you can actually have a conversation with him without it turning into a head fuck. I say it's time to brush your teeth, and he just gets up and goes. It's school time, TV off, and bag ready, and chatty man to the car. 

No more fighting. He actually wants to go to school.

By 3 pm sadly the magic pill is all gone. It is a low dose, and not meant to stay in his system. Just for school.

But you see that on the weekends we have our darling sweet normal boy medication for the weekend. But now that we have had a taste of what life is like on the drug, the temptation to drug him is really high. We didn't, but the little man did drive himself, and EVERYONE else Nuts!

So we shall see what the doctor thinks after we tell him of life with drugs. He may give him a pill that lasts a tad longer, 8 pm would be great! 

He is a much more settled boy. He still plays, and is normal, just not frantically jumping from this to that unable to focus on anything. He needs this just as much as we do.

So wish us luck.

Last night we had the Super Moon. Did you see it? It was HUGE, and very beautiful. We went outside and watched it rise into the night sky. Well we watched for about 5 mins. It was bloody freezing.

It was like "WOW look at how big it is!".............."OK inside now, too cold"

Super Moon event over! Well at least we remembered to go outside and have a look!

I shall end today's post with a funny......


A: It's Braille for 'suck here'. 

A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.' 

A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. 

A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them. 

A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch... 


Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment? 
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose. 

(Nominated as the world's best short joke)

3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 
“Mummy,” he asked, “Are these my brains?” 

“Not yet,” she replied. 

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY and a good week.

Friday, 21 June 2013

Arrrrrrrrhhh FUCK!

 As always things just keep snowballing our way. One thing after the step forwards, two steps back.....It is all getting way too much to cope with...FUCK!!!!!

Stilling waiting for the agent to sort out the stove. Yes it's still not replaced or repaired. Despite promises of it being sorted. Well it did take them 11 months to fix the floor! It's been about the same time with the stove now! To add to this the shower door fell off, and so we have a middle panel missing. The place is so old that it just finally wore away. The man could have just welded the metal strip back on and replaced the roller wheel thing, but no, he took the door an threw it out and quoted the agent for a whole new shower cubical.

Nice as that is, it wasn't really necessary, so we now shower in winter with an open door, and water goes all over the floor. Causing more wet towels, and washing to do! I don't want to make a fuss, I don't have the energy. I know I have good grounds too, but I am happy here. It's just that it is going on too long which makes me nervous.

What makes thing worse is the we have just found out our landlord has transferred ownership of the home. We have a new landlord, but we don't know who?? It's an unknown factor. Things I don't like. I like to know things, it makes me feel safe. Plus they have just had the house valued!

The lease is up in August, and nothing is getting fixed. I just can't help feeling a little anxious that the new owners may have 'Other' ideas about what they want to do with this old house. Plans that will not include us!

To make things worse tonight I kicked the carpet with my foot, and it lifted off the floor to just shove more worry in my face.

My old floor boards are now covered with bits of the rubber backing off my carpet rug. JOY. So now I have to find something that will removed the stuck down rubber off the floor without damaging the floor. IN MY CONDITION!

It's not what I needed, not when I got my credit card statement and rego all on the same day. I knew the credit card was going to be bad. 2 months out of work and no money coming in, and huge doctors bills to pay, plus food and living expenses, I wasn't too shocked. But I wish all this didn't co-inside with the new owner, and the non-repair work threatening my happy bubble.

Between you and me I am scared to death that we will have to move. I can not move anywhere in my condition, and I certainly can't afford to right now either. I need to have another lease granted. I love it here despite the fact it is old and frail. It  just needs some TLC, just like me. It is great for the kids, and the neighbours are good, and it's HOME. 

I know I know I am fretting over something that may not even happen. After all no one has said anything even hinting to the fact. But I just can't shake this gut feeling that something is up, and it isn't my back account. I pray that I am wrong.

So I sit here and add to my ever growing to do list..... A list that I need everyone else to do, and I hate it.  I hate not being able to put on my own socks and shoes! I hate that I have to air dry my legs as I can't bend down to dry them. I hate that I feel like a space cadet most of the time due to the heavy medication I am taking so I can function somewhat like a normal human being. 

But I have to stop and take stock... I have so much to be happy for. I have a good family, and great kids. They have been super good helping me get ready in the mornings for work, and doing extra things about the house for me. I am not dying,and I am still able to work, which is a huge blessing, as I love my job.

Today I had a customer tell me that I was just like a an ice cold beer on Christmas day! Well I have never been liken to a beer before, but he went on to say that I was golden, and a darling.  It feels good to know that I make a difference, even in a small way. That's me. I may not be perfect, I may have a shit load of crap going on, but I do like to push that aside, and remember that no matter how bad it gets, someone else is probably worse. A small shared kindness goes a long way, don't you think?

Found this last gem on face book and it just cracked me up. PERFECT don't you think.

P.E.N.I.S Foundation! Love it! It's just so nice. 

Hope your day is treating you well.


Monday, 17 June 2013


Spartacus Quote:

"Not every venture ends in climax." - Batiatus 

"A fact well known to many women." - Lucretia 

One does really have a good chuckle at this very true 


I am so glad that I do not fall among the women who

sadly know this to be fact.

I saw this picture on face book and it made me laugh. Not just because the

little boy is having a good look, but it so remind's me of a story my hubby told

me of when he was out shopping with his mum and dad at age 3 or 4. Now this

was back in the late 1960's when mini dresses where all the rage.

You see my then very little boy hubby recalls looking at shop window display

while his parents decided on where to go next. The displays often held toys,

and trains and all the things little kids love to look at, and he did this all the

time, so his mum and dad paid no real attention when he wondered off a little

to look about.

He remembers a young shop assistant dressing a store dummy in the window.

Now that's isn't really exciting stuff is it? But you see this for my hubby was

the first taste of what was to become much later, something he really liked.

This young lady, busy about her work, not even noticing the young boy 

struck curious at the window, was bending down fussing with the store 

dummy's pants.  This action caused her very short uniform to rise high

enough for young hubby to see her white panties enclosed behind a pair

of flesh coloured panty hose. 

Well he was not sexual at that age, a mere boy of 3, but he did like what he

saw, and to this day he can still see it as if it was yesterday. Such was the joy

of seeing panties, that it burned the memory of it in his brain, and set the

tone of things to come. A curiosity, that set him on a road to learn 

EVERYTHING there was to know about what was behind those white nickers!

It's true, even my boys have been known to reach out and touch the bra's in

Target, and feel the lace. They don't know why. They where just babes. But

they did. They seem drawn to them like little moths to the light. Which 

makes me think they are just born that way.

I just more of them actually shared my hubby's desire to actually learn

about a woman's lady parts, and how to really drive them. Sex is such

an important aspect to a relationship don't you think? 

I just love the look on his face, and the fact he is holding a bag of chips.

Boys will be boys, and they will be forever CURIOUS..... How can you not

LOVE them?

Sunday, 16 June 2013

Ever get the feeling you should have stayed in bed!

Nothing like waking up feeling in pain and off, and have a 7 year old decide that now would be a great time to have a issue with EVERYTHING in the world. 

He was perfectly happy playing before that, but since casting eyes on me thinks that VENTING his BULLSHIT and TONE is somehow going to make me LIKE HIM! 

Sorry dude, I am in charge here, and you don't get your way with that crap. Not to mention he has changed pants 3 times in 30 mins. FFS Do I have nothing better to do than wash clothes! I did it all yesterday. 

Today was going to be a chill-lax day. You can really notice the difference on meds and off! I am now one tight ball of tension, doing my best to relax and not loose my utter cool. I am feeling horrible.

He also wanted lunch. While I was making his lunch, before he has even eaten it, he is swinging the pantry doors. 

I said "why are you in the pantry?"

He replied in an arrogant tone "LOOKING FOR FOOD, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM DOING!" Like yeah you fucking dick-head. 

So I snapped, and told him he could bloody well eat the lunch he wanted first, and ALL OF IT, or he can have me whack him and go to bed! 

All this before I have even had a cup of tea. Really! Must I have been so bad a person to deserve this? I can barely move this morning without bringing tears to me eyes and I need to hold it together and deal with this bullshit behaviour.

He is now he is eating watching a movie and playing Lego, and drawing all at the same time. I wish only that my LITTLE BOY return to his nice self soon, or it's going to be a long hard day! 

I am hoping that this rant allows me time to settle down and regain control, so that when hubby wakes up he isn't also pissed off at me for yelling in the morning! 

It's like I am caught between a rock and a hard place. 

I am fed up with this constant pain I am in. My first week back at work has been bearable but only on strong meds. I have only today off and then back to it Monday. I just want to do nothing. I want to feel nothing. 

Yesterday Child 1 took the boys to Disney On Ice. They had a great day out. It was nice to come home from work and still have the place to myself. 

5 am start to my day. Hubby kind enough to stay up so that he could pop on my shoes and socks. Then off to work. Then after my shift a half hour rest stop in the staff room so that I could manage some shopping. Just the essentials. Get home after midday. Took 20 mins to remove all the shopping from car and bring to kitchen where I put it all away. That is REALLY SLOW.

Then I sat down and had lunch, and a cuppa, and enjoyed the warmth of my heat bag. Then once feeling a bit better, I tackled the house. 

All last nights dishes still lay about. Child 1 the night before not even thinking that collecting her dirty cups, and crap and taking them to the sink would be much appreciated. Instead, their breakfast dishes, and cups, remained where they ate that morning, along side the dirty ones from the night before. The night before when I went to bed early, as the shooting pain in my leg was so uncomfortable that strong meds had to be taken and sleep had.

I knew they would have had no time in the morning, as they had to be up and ready to catch the bus. But the night before could have been meet with more thoughtful thoughts than reading and watching TV.

But no matter, I did it. Bit by bit, I washed up, cleared bench tops. Sorted rubbish, and got the washing on.

It felt good to be in control, all be it slow. Not sure if the kids, or hubby realised just what a mammoth effort that all took? Kids certainly didn't care a hoot.

Hubby was up soon, he had work to get to, so he was busy getting himself ready. Kids got home, happy, tired, and boys hypo, but all good.

We settled in for a good night , and once Hubby was back home, and kids all to bed, Hubby and I watched the remaining 4 episodes of the TV Drama SPARTACUS  War of the Dammed. 

So I guess staying up till 2.30 am wasn't the best idea, especially since I had been awake since 5 am, but it was nice to just hang out and besides, it was so good, we just had to see it to the bitter end.

So that is that! I am now back here at the keyboard spilling my guts to you all!

Calm is again upon me, and the boys have decided that pancakes are  on the menu. There goes the kitchen, but at least they are happy!

Wish me Luck! LOL

Thursday, 13 June 2013

Feeling tired......................

First day back at work in almost 8 weeks........YAY ME! Still can't put on my socks and shoes, but I am back at work, and back to earning a living. Now project pay off the credit card!

Half way through my shift, which was going rather well considering, I get a call from school telling me child 3 had fell over in dance class and had badly hit his head!


I got them to call Hubby, as he could get to him faster, and he was home. Well asleep, but at home less than 5 mins away. I suggested she make the phone keep ringing, and he should wake up to answer it, if not buzz me back. I didn't think asking to go home early on my first day back would go down well. Best not push it!

After stressing for the next half hour, I started to relax thinking that Hubby must have picked up. That just left me planning what to do when I got home. I wanted to just come home heat my wheat bag, and fall into bed. Well I knew now that was not going to happen!

I drove home thinking we'd need to take him to the doctors as school had said it was bad. So bad that popping ice on it would not do. He had to go home. It was swelling, and blood vessels were appearing. He may suffer concussion! All I could think was "HOW HARD DID HE FALL!" He has a very hard head!

I get home and find Child 3 chatting away, with Hubby looking like death warmed up, but Child 3 was totally NORMAL. He doesn't even have a bump now! Hubby said there was a small rise, but I can't even find it now. HEALED and utterly FINE!  He has not SHUT-UP since I walked through the door. 

Hubby has gone back to bed,(That is exactly where I was going, or so I had thought at 10.30 am this morning) as he hasn't had enough sleep and needs to work tonight. So I am manning up, and holding the fort.

Child 2 is hiding out in his room as watching Terminator again (Child 3's new obsession) may just put him in a coma, best not risk it. Mind you the blow by blow commentary is really doing my head in! Child 2 is chilling to my mediation CD, and drawing. I may go join him! He tells me it relaxes him. Squiggy, the cat, seems to like it too. Must be all those rain forest sounds. He keeps looking around the room for birds.

I am glad to be home and sitting down. I am happy I made it through my day without sitting down. I really wasn't sure I was going to be able to last. Thank goodness for these new drugs. 

(I can so relate to this. It  has nothing to do with what I am on about today, but it is so true.............)

Dinner is on, nothing flash, snags and corn cobs, roast potatoes  and mix veggies, and then I just have to chill till bed. YAY! 

I think I need to borrow this cats box! I have been talking to people all day, and now I am home, and the kids are for some reason so chatty. I just want to shut off the world and just re-charge.

They are hungry. Dinner is late, as I wasn't planning on cooking. Hubby would have, but he needed to sleep as we have KIDS, and they like to randomly trip over their legs,and change up your plans..... Well you wouldn't want life to get boring now would you? 

At least we don't need to see the doctor. I have seen quite enough of him for some time! 

Wish me luck for tomorrow where I get to do it all again. I am actually already looking forward to SUNDAY! That is my day off. Is that bad? 8 weeks off and I feel like I never left. I PLAN to SLEEP IN, on keep up.... Hopefully it will work out. Getting out of bed when it is cold and dark is just not fun. Missing summer already.

HUGS and SMILES till next time.............................

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

The return of the 'MELTY MAN'....

It seems my improved mood paid off. The smiles, the baking, the transformation to domestic goddess, sweet wife and mother paid off. I did get an 'O'. It was a nice 'O', a very pleasing 'O', but was it the 'O' that I was craving for..........?????

You see it appears I have been a little off in my thoughts of hubby's lust filled nights, watching fit, perky, non birthing hips, doing Olympic feats that would make a gymnast blush, pleasuring himself happy, while I lay fast asleep curled up next to a hot wheat pillow for warmth.

Well he was, that is he was trying....

It appears that the recent back issue and resulting drugs to cope, have left a small but rather nasty side effect. 

This topped with the issues of trying to get back into the full swing of work. The lack of shifts now playing on his mind, and current other life born stresses, which loop around in his head, are also it seems looping in the other head.

My poor man is going through some, what I'd call, rather normal issues. I feel so bad for him. It isn't the same for a man to loose his best friend, even if he has just gone south for the winter. Men have a very different relationship with their members, they are much more defined by them than we are. I guess it is very hard for a man to fake it. He can't hide it. It is all out there for show. 

Yet he didn't shy away. He didn't tell me either, which I wished he had. Perhaps he thought with my help, once things got going.....wishful thinking.....???

The problem now is within his head. This is where the true battle lies. It has happened before. The last time I had turned myself in side out, thinking this was it. He had finally had enough of me. I was not young, pretty, and perky any more. I was convinced he was heading to the idea that a trade in was on the cards. I was no longer wanted, desired, needed....just old, used, and rusty!

I was wrong.

It wasn't me at all.

He did blame me a little. Frustration more than anything else. More of a joke on my part, but I didn't see the humour at the time. I took it on board like it was historical fact! It hurt. It hurt a lot. That wasn't his intention, but all the same it ripped though me, and occasionally still haunts me. Certainly didn't help the self esteem. But eventually I discovered the real reason. STRESS! Stress and the negative self talk and pressure he was putting himself under to perform. I was almost scared he had finally abused it so much he broke it!

So, late last night, which I guess also didn't help matters much in my department, he hinted that having some 'Adult Time' with me would be nice. 'Would I be up for it?' Ummmmmmmmm.......................

I did almost say no. I did question the hour, calculated how long this might take, and judge if staying up late and loosing sleep out weighed missing out on spending intimate time with my man. Well 30 sec later, I was all for the idea! Well it has been a while!

The small fluttering butterflies of excitement stirred, and I was keen to get the show on the road. It was late. I had to be up early....don't judge! Hubby was taking it a lot slower, and I was forced to follow his lead.

It wasn't long before I noticed that things were not exactly what I was expecting. He was very keen to please me, but was very careful to not allow me the chance to return the kind gesture. 

Some would say that is awesome....but you see I am a giver. I like to please. I actually get really turned on by how much my man is enjoying the things I am doing to him. If I can't please him back I feel selfish. A bit greedy. I really don't like it. It really robs me of my own pleasure if that makes sense?

Fighting my thoughts and realising I was fighting a loosing battle with my own body, which was now running on auto pilot, I did, rather too soon, and suddenly, reach my 'O'.

I wasn't ready for it, I hadn't let go enough, it was all automatic....and sadly for me just the tip of the getting satisfied burger. It was just the first course. Now my body alive and awaken craved more attention. More touch, more man, and more emotion. If I had known that this was what was going to happen I would have relaxed, and allowed myself to really enjoy it, turned off my mind, and just let him please him. No strings attached. It would have been AMAZING!

But hubby didn't do what I was hoping for. He lay back and just stopped. I thought maybe he wanted me to return the deed. I wasn't keen on that at 1 am in the morning, hubby isn't the sort who comes early if you get my drift. When time and mind and body are all in the right frame, I have no issue with this, but now I was already getting cold, and sleepy, and I really wasn't satisfied enough to just be ignored. At these times it really is a blow'JOB'.

But I went for it with all I had. I love him, and I want to make him happy. he deserves it. He is a good man. He was trying, I could see that, it was rising and  falling, and after some serious effort, using all past experience of what works, even I realised that this horse was going no where.

So he told me. Told me what I had worked out a good 30 mins earlier, but I didn't want to let him down. He has been dealing with ED. Erectile dysfunction. Which is of course due to the stress of having hurt his back, lack of income, medication, and now the struggle to get back into work, and the resulting pain form that, creeping fear in the mind, and fear that he may not be able to get back to where he was...all swimming about his head, creeping back in when he is trying to think of more lusty thoughts, and causing the return of 'MR MELTY MAN'

I guess having dealt with this before, made it easier to just accept without the added emotions of fear, guilt, and hurt. It wasn't rejection, it was just a normal thing that happens sometimes.

I felt bad for him, I now how much he enjoys sex, but I also felt very LOVED. Even though he was, he knew that the chances of him getting his rocks off where pretty much not in the cards, he still WANTED to spend time with me, and make me feel good. He even joked and agreed that maybe tomorrow things will be back... for it is all in his head...the big head, not the little one....

I am just utterly blown away by how self less he is has a man. I am also glad that I have finally realised that me getting all hot and bothered, frustrated and angry, only makes things 1000 tomes worse. Imagine if I had gone all bitch factor 2000, and all the while he has been struggling to prove himself a man! So a good lesson learned, and one to pass on.

However, a heads up, some well placed information sooner may have been helpful in my understanding, but better late than never hey!

Hugs and kisses good night, and hubby left me to my dreams. However I wasn't anywhere near sleepy yet. There was still some un-finished business to take care of. 

With thoughts of my man, I soon sorted out the nagging problem, and was then able to sleep. I don't need porn.................

Still looking forward to the 'O' moment I crave, but it is all good, and I can wait till hubby can join me in a big old "O" too.

In the mean time it's nice to know he still likes to please. 

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Four letter words...........

Well it is Tuesday, and I have yet to have my wild romp big juicy 'O' moment.
I know...I know.... I am now at risk of becoming OVER EMOTIONAL...which isn't a four letter word, well neither is 'Frisky' or 'Horny' or bloody well getting 'Impatient'.

But I am still SMILING, which is amazing, and somewhat odd, as by now I am usually MAD barking snappy INSANE!

Instead I am trying out this not getting upset theory. No shouting at the kids, staying me and sweet and loving.... so far it hasn't gotten me anywhere closer to the bedroom!!

So I have been 'BUSY' doing House 'WORK'. There's one 'WORK', and I have a roast on in the oven. 'COOK' 'OVEN' I have 'WASHed' dishes and clothes...well 'WASH' is a four letter word and I am counting it......and I've 'HUNG' them out. I have been to the 'SHOP' and bought 'FOOD' so that the 'CATS' and the 'KIDS' can eat. I have 'READ', 'BLOG's' and tried to pass the 'TIME' while I 'WAIT' for something sweet to happen.

'THEY' say that a way to a 'MAN'S' heart is through his tummy, heck even my man has said 'THAT'! Well I have been going out of my way to provide in 'THAT' department. 'HOME' baked 'CAKE', fried 'RICE', Chocolate treats, a roast dinner tonight!

I have even flashed him my 'BOOB', to which he chuckled and made a rather smart arse comment about having the feeling that I may be a bit on the 'LUST'-full side. So he is well and truly in the  'KNOW', and I am starting to think he is having fun with this. Maybe he is conducting an experiment has to how 'LONG' can we go before she cracks???

I am sure he enjoys a 'WANK' while I sleep in our bed. I sleep because I am the one who goes to 'WORK' and drops the 'KIDS' to school in the mornings. If I kept his hours I would not sleep at all, and that would be silly. He works at night, so he sleeps most the day. It is how we 'ROLL'.

But I am getting 'PAST' the point of caring. So horny that I am not really horny any more. Or that it just goes away, and pops back the second I see his smile, but then just as quick has gone again because he is talking about planes, paint, computers!

I was once 'FULL' of 'LUST', and longing. I 'SORT' pleasure, and fun. I wanted frisky, flirty, kisses. 'SOFT' caresses, and a 'GOOD' old fashioned 'FUCK'! 

So I am really not sure what is happening? Am I just getting too old, or is this new experiential nice me, turning me into a 'NORMAL WOMAN' ??

Could I be at 'RISK' of loosing my 'MOJO'? 


The plus side is I am not angry at my man like I would be any other time this has happened. I am not even bothered to masturbate the frustration away. We are getting along just perfectly despite the 'LACK' of sexual 'PLAY' 'TIME.  

Maybe now that 'CHILD' 1 is again 'AWAY', maybe tonight if he is not called into 'WORK', maybe he might 'MAKE' a 'MOVE'??

I wonder if I will be willing? If my 'MOOD' will respond? 

I guess 'TIME' will 'SOON' 'TELL'..... stay tuned.................

Sunday, 9 June 2013

When life and movies don't mix..........

 Well good morning, or should I say it might have been???

This is me, well not actually me, but you get the picture.... That's right, I have woken up feeling crappy, tired, and not at all in the mood to want to smile and play the perfect housewife/mother/friend/anything!

Today I am sulking. I have the inner most desire to want to stamp my feet and grumble that life isn't fair! 

But you know I won't do that. No not me. Just here in my little blog do I really let go and and occasionally let my more negative side have it's way with me. Lately that's the only thing having it's way!

As you can see, I must be getting better, because I have again become flirty, cheeky, cake baking, sweet. However despite all my efforts it has come to nothing! 

Even with the promise, the before work taster, the welcomed and very much liked and enjoyed nipple kissing and special kissing of MR's best friend.... ZIP!

Everything that could have gotten in the way last night did.

Hubby came home happy from work, I think he is just relieved to be back and all is OK. The whole family home, rare these days as child 1 is always at the boyfriends house. 

I make him dinner, like the good wife. While he was away, I had cleaned the house. Dishes no longer piled on the bench tops, the basket of laundry now washed and hanging on the line by the heater, and the 3 baskets of folded washing was now all safely put away. Even the loo was clean.

Well that is a big deal for me....considering I haven't been able to take care of myself for weeks. Still can't put on my bloody socks and shoes! 

Mistake number 1:

Hubby failed to notice a difference to the house!


Can you not smell the pine-o-clean freshness! Can you not SEE the vacant space on the bench tops that are now free from the kids spilt milo! Can you not see the dish rack is full of CLEAN WASHED DISHES. Can you not see the BINS are EMPTY!


Nevermind, I held it together, I put that smile on my face, after all tonight was ours...... I made him dinner while the kids stole ALL his attention. I am yet to even get a hug in.

He LOVED his dinner, and the movie I had gotten for us to watch. JACK and the GIANT SLAYER. The whole family stayed up. It was nice, lovely, something we had not done in ages.

Then once movie was done, we sent the boys to bed, and I told Miss child 1 it was also time for her to go to bed as she has work today. It was 11:30 pm, by then. 

FINALLY US TIME. I had anticipated this all night.

Time  ALONE, adult time. SEX. I have craved for for a VERY LONG TIME!

So hubby asked if I'd like to watch "Spartacus" with a winning grin....sure, why not, well buffed men, half dressed, hot naked women, sex, lust, yes that's the right idea. My tummy did a flip flop dance. Tonight's the night.

This season is very good, so we end up watching 3 in a row. By now the kids are all sound asleep, and the time is now getting on. 2 am. I am getting tired, but I am not caving in. I am spending this time with my man, and any moment he is going to take me to bed and make me do and submit to most delightful deeds!  



Out of nowhere I get TONE!

'Honey it's late, don't you think you should go to bed?'

"Ummm yes, but........" I sit there in the dark room with just the light from the TV set to give away my horror.

'The boys will be up early, and our teenaged daughter won't be up till after mid-day, and I won't be up till after mid-day, so I really do not think it is fair that the boys be up all alone for hours do you?'


I was in that fraction of a second LIVID!

I had spent hours getting ready for us. Making sure that when I got up nothing needed doing, that the kids were OK, set up with food, and DVD's to watch. It won't kill them, they have been fending for themselves for weeks, and looking after us...............REALLY!

I was MAD. I was so MAD I could not even speak.

This is how I felt.................just in reverse...................................  AAARRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I got up, went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth again, and got myself ready for bed. IN SILENCE. 

I found my heat pillows and zapped them in the microwave. Something he would do for me. SILENCE.

Our happy bonding evening had just collapsed into a silence from HELL. The air was COLD. No longer was I smiling. In fact I was numb. Numb with rejection, and hurt. 

Hurt because I knew that in a hour or so I me being asleep, he would be wanking to some mindless porn, and getting off, while I lay there FRUSTRATED and SAD. I could have masterbated too sure, but I was too mad to now wasn't I!!!

He made his way down the hall to say good night. I had failed to say night and kiss him in my usual manner. 

HINT number 2! I guess he got that one.

The cat was on our bed purring and demanding pats.

He stood by my bedside and patted the cat, talking sweetly to the cat, and I screamed inside silently wishing that he would just take the fucking cat and let me sleep so I can get up and be a MOTHER to our children. Wasn't that why I was going to bed, so that I could sleep....???

After a few minutes, he spoke......

'Are you MAD at me?'

"NO!" I spat. I am not a good liar. I couldn't even hide the hurt from it.

'Yes you are'

Well give the man a prize. I think if the tables were turned I would have been called a PRICK TEASER!

So I stated that I resented the notion of being a BAD MOTHER, when I was just trying to spend time alone with my husband.

It was true, I was pissed that it all came down to me, not that our boys have even noticed me this morning. Both very happy playing games, and watching TV, haven't moved an inch since I got up 3 hours AGO! haven't needed a bloody thing from me! Oh yeah I am so fucking needed here!

What I wanted was us to be kissing, and touching, and licking, and sucking, and to finish what we started all those hours ago. I wanted to connect, to FUCK, for my mind to escape the bondage of this life and be utterly free, and for us to have one hell of an ORGASM!

Then I would sleep, and rest and wake up HAPPY. 

Isn't that what happens in the movies. Wife makes the whole world happy. Gives man what he likes, and he sweeps her off her feet and makes sweet  sweet love to her?????

So here I am telling you all of my sexual failings. Of my frustrations. Of my crazy inner head thoughts of jealousy over a cat and internet porn and resentment of being a not needed mother!

I will rise above. I will not pout much. I will be me, put on a smile, pretend that having stayed up for pointless hours on a promise of sexual bliss has had no adverse effect on my mental health. Especially after watching 3 hours of hot TV. No I am not HORNY! I am a LADY. Ladies don't like nor feel the need for sex, it is just something they endure for their man................FUCK THAT!

I shall pay no attention to my screaming body, or my lustful thoughts which are now mixed with bitter words of "What do you care?". 

This is not the way to proceed. I know that this path will only take me away from my goal, as it will make HIM mad, and not like me much.

Well HORNY me doesn't like him much either at the moment......

But the rest of me does. The most of me...the friend me, the wife me. 

So YES, when he wakes I will hide my true feelings. I will smile. I will stand by him. He'd better just not give me the shits, or I may not be able to keep up this nice me. I am a razor on the edge.

But if he is HIM, and not all pissy, then we will be just FINE, and who knows, maybe later I just might get my wish.........................

I may just get my movie ending after all???????