Well dinner the other night went down well. Not only had I fussed and cleaned and made a roasted lunch for my dear family the other day....you know when I was in my domestic goddess faze....but I'd also went off to work, happy and at peace that I had reclaimed some of my womanhood.
I had cleaned....tidied.....washed....cooked...and SHAVED MY LEGS!
My first born was not seen before I left for work at 4.30 pm. My hubby had gotten out of bed at 4 pm.
"I made lunch. It's a roast, you'll need to cook a light dinner later, the boys have eaten lunch with me. Yours and miss sleepy heads are there for you when ready. I'll eat dinner when I get home. Have the boys in bed no later than 9 pm. Love you bye!"
Work was OK. Usual mix for lovely and rotten customers. I didn't park around the back, but I did park a bit further away. That issue is not resolved, but the safety lady did raise it at the meeting. Management feel that we are lucky at all to have a space to park, when other stores have to park down side streets, so why are we complaining? She said that she had not said it was me, but they had said that is I was that worried I could park close when I arrive, but must move the car in my break. So I then said to our safety officer member, I don't get a break, as I only do 4 hour shifts! So I guess I can keep it there?? This isn't really over yet, but I will keep looking for a compromise.
When I got home at 10 pm, the house was alive. Laughing kids, laughing hubby, all sat around watching a movie....just picture perfect. Right? Well no not really. House a mess, my lovely roast sat on the kitchen bench top, in a plate, uneaten? Me pretty hungry by now...
"Why is the plate on the bench and not in the fridge?"
"Oh that's mine, I didn't realise dad had dished it for me" came miss sleepy head voice.
"What did you have to eat then?" asked I wondering what had caused the a mass of mugs, and plates about the place.
"I made toasties"
SHE MADE TOASTIES! (That is bread and cheese made in a sandwich press.)
ME: "So why is the plate on the bench?"
Miss sleepy: "I didn't know it was mine"
ME: "How long has it been there?"
Hubby: "I dished it after you left, I ate mine, and got her out of bed!"
Me: "So 5 hours ago! No one thought to cover it and put it in the fridge? Maybe I could of eaten it for my dinner? So what did you all have for dinner?"
Hubby: "We all had whatever...bla bla..." as he told me of the various tinned food our children and himself consumed.
Me: "Fine, that's great....why do I bother!"
"Oh shut up woman, we are watching a movie....don't come home and start griping..."
OK, so let's not make a huge deal out of this....after all I was tired , hungry, sexually frustrated, and was staring at really yummy meal now totally wasted. I violently tossed it in the bin. NOT HAPPY JAN.
I made some eggs...the boys wanted some too, still hungry, just what I need when I just want to sit back unwind and chill before going to bed and doing the whole work thing again early in the morning.
By 11:30 the boys were in bed, miss moo, was up and wide awake despite the fact that she had a 6 am shift in the morning....and I was tired...grumpy...and really frustrated.
Not a good combo........
Turns out hubby wasn't much happier. The next day, the children had been really bad, fighting, and mess from one end to the other. Miss sleepy's room was insane, and her crap had infected the house as well as her attitude. It really hard to adjust to someone when they have been pretty much not living with you for 12 months. She has become very different. We don't really like it.
Hubby in a black mood, and I am doing my best all is OK face, when hubby discovered what child 3 had done to the new shower.....
It seemed that the freshly laid silicon that joins the bath to the shower, was too much of a temptation for bored little fingers.
That was it.............the cherry.................DADDY told us all to sit down and a family discussion was going to be had.
RIOT ACT given, and for me that meant if I so much as tried to defend them, I could join them and he would find somewhere else to live. The divorce word used for a more meaningful effect. It was hard, but I understood why and where he was coming from. Although I didn't like being placed on the outter and given a choice...me or them? REALLY!
I felt the same anger towards OUR children, but I would not have put it in the same way, and I would not have given him the whole with me or against me crap. So I guess my martial fate ins in the hands of my 3 kids!
He was in a bad mood. He loves us a lot, but he is not someone to push too far. He has two settings, good, and sledge hammer, thankfully he is mostly good. But when you push him too far, which is what the kids had done over the last 6 months...well EVERY BODY BE WARNED he takes no prisoners. So all four of us where in tears.
Miss Sleepy has been given 1 week to sort out her shit or she can move out. The boys where told something similar, and all child's 3 pocket money taken to pay for the damage he has caused.
The boys also had broken their cupboard door a few days earlier. Fighting and not ever closing the bloody thing....the hinge needs fixing. Hubby now has a list of DIY to do, and he isn't the DIY type of guy. I would call my handy man in, but we are still trying to catch up from our 8 weeks of no pay. He has also not been getting enough sleep, which doesn't help. Going to bed at 8 am in the morning and having 2 boys playing at home all day while I am at work really doesn't give you a peaceful sleep.
But the fear did have the right effect and all 3 kids got up from there selfish worlds and washed dishes, and started cleaning their rooms, and the lounge room. Child 3 went to bed right after dinner too. He was in deep shit.
The next few days have been an improvement, but still Miss sleepy head's room still looks bad. She spent 4 hours in there yesterday and this morning it doesn't seem much better. WHAT IS SHE DOING IN THERE? I want to head in there and tidy up a bit myself. But I know this will only make hubby mad at me. She has to do it herself, but I have no idea why it has to take so long? It is almost like she shifts the clothes around and around and not actually picking them up and popping them away. How she sleeps in that bed who knows?
So we are again at Sunday. Miss is at work, we did shopping yesterday when I picked her up from work, and we also stopped by the hardware shop to buy a tube of silicon so we can mend the shower before the agent sees it. KIDS!
I have toys all around me, it's cold, and even I am BORED silly. Hubby got up, but has gone back to bed as he couldn't sleep well.
We had a movie night last night, it was really nice. Miss was cleaning her room, and the boys went to bed. But still no bedroom romance. I can feel that ugly monster starting to rise up inside me. My patience is thin, and I am snapping, and grumpy.
School next week for all 3! Work for us too, but I am hoping and praying that with the set routine, we will all fall into a better pattern of living together. I really do believe that is the key.
Hubby will have to go to bed earlier, as he will be picking the boys up from school. Sleeping during the day will be better as he will be in a quiet empty house. Rested, and again in control, maybe he will find that balance he needs too, and come back to me.
As for me, even though I understand why he is the way he is, and I can empathise, and also relate, I can not stand this sexless marriage any more.
I love him with all my soul, but between you and me, if I do not get some loving soon, things are not going to be good. Lucky for him I LOVE HIM, and I am very patient, but how much can a koala bear?
Now I will go and make dinner. Pasta tonight, and wash up the dishes. I have already done a load of laundry. Hopefully tonight will be better.