The other day when I posted a rant alert, I was about to let rip, when my privacy was invaded, and well in a hurried panic to post, I cut paste, and clicked and accidently wiped out my all post. That was the proverbial cherry on the cake!
So now that a few days have passed, I feel I should let you all in on why I felt the need to go on a long walk away from my dear and loving family.
Well as you know last week I was pretty sick. Not one of my best weeks, but hey shit happens. But this particular day in question, I woke up feeling well rested, and really good within my self. I felt better, the sun was up and warm, and I had the day off work! YEAH!
I got up, got the boys ready for school, and did the usual morning routine, all going like clock work. I spent the first hour in child 3 class and helped with reading, and then went home popped on a load of washing, did the dishes, and proceeded to re-book all cancelled appointments from the previous week, as well as make some additional ones for the kids at the dentist, and pay some bills, catch up on mail, sort out the items needed for school, (there is always things the kids need to take in!), and then took off to the shops to get what I needed to make dinner.
It was such a lovely day, and I was in such a lovely mood, I thought it might be nice to make a start on some Xmas shopping. Yes, I thought, I will go home, put on the next load of washing, (I was sick so the washing piled up, as did a few things), and see if MISS was up yet and take her with me. I was feeling generous, and I had in mind going to get pampered somewhere after shopping. It will be nice, I thought.
So I get home and was happy to note that Miss was in the bathroom. Great she is up, I popped the shopping away, and proceeded to the laundry to removed one load and replace it with the next. I headed back into the kitchen when I heard MISS come flying out the bathroom going ballistic over the fact that SHE had washing to do, and SHE was going OUT. I headed down the hall and was faced with MISS in a fit, pulling out all the now wet towels, and throwing them back into the wash basket leaving a big wet puddle on the floor.
I actually could have washed them for her had she asked, but she was so full of attitude, I was shocked. I said she didn't have to do that, to which she snapped, and said she had plans, and that was somehow something I should have guessed maybe?? Knew about? Consulted the stars over maybe?? The reaction was as if I had destroyed world peace over the known universe, and all I had done was put the towels on!
I walked away, pissed off that she had been such a so and so, and really annoyed that she was going out when I had such a lovely day all planned in my head. Her loss.
So I asked her if while she was waiting for her washing to go through, if she would hang out my first load.
NO! How silly of me. Of course she can't. She needed all that time to decide what to WEAR!
So once I had done a few more things about the place, I headed out into the bright hot sun, and hung out my bloody washing.
Miss was now washing her work uniform by hand. Has I came back towards the laundry door I saw she had hung her dripping wet shirt right next to her father's clean dry work clothes, The ones I was about to take inside and make ready for him. The ones he would need to wear today, and his pants were now becoming quite wet.
Now I wasn't going to walk away. She had basically got up, messed up my kitchen, and thrown out my happy space, with her moody drama, and this was it! I gave her a telling off for being so inconsiderate. I asked her why she had to hang her shirt right there and not on the line were it would dry in an hour.
"OH JUST CHILL MUM!" Chill mum! I am now flabbergasted.
Not only do I have a basket of wet dripping unwashed towels making a watery mess all over my floor, I now have to wait for pants to dry again, and no, it's not that, it is the attitude. The my life is so important, EVERYONE else can just accommodate me. Her important meeting was with her boyfriend. I am sure 30 mins would not have made a huge difference, but hey, I guess it did!
Now I was pissed. I was was pissed I had let her get under my skin. Pissed at myself for allowing her to treat me like that. Pissed I was letting her go without cleaning up all her crap first. Pissed as I realised I would be the one bringing in her washing, as it was going to rain later. Pissed she wasn't going to come home for dinner, or the night, when we had plans to watch a movie.
By the time hubby woke up, the air in the house was icy. I thought it best to stay the hell out of her way, and when she walked out the door saying BYE, and thought to myself GOOD!
I needed time to balance my chi. I went and sat down next to hubby while he ate his breakfast. We had an hour or so before the boys needed to be picked up, and I sighed and said 'Can you believe what she did this morning?'
Now I was looking for support. Maybe acknowledgement. Some kind of, 'don't worry about it, KIDS!' Maybe even just a HUG! All of the above would have done nicely.
Instead, I got a short lecture on MY behaviour. (He heard her telling me to chill out.) So I instantly prickled, set his facts straight as to why I went off, ie his work pants which were now wet AGAIN! (it was a hot day, but that is besides the point). I had not yelled at her over the towels. But I had had lost it over the pants. If you are going to dump shit on me , get it right!
So I did what any person feeling hard done by does, I protested in silence. I headed for the kitchen and banged pots, while getting dinner started. I then sat at the computer and sulked. Cursing at them all. I had done everything for THEM that morning. I could have gone and had my toes nails done, got a massage, left all the bloody dirty smelly washing there, and fed them ruddy toast.
When he left to pick up the boys I thought about venting this all out of my system. So I wrote. I did feel much better, but in a hurry to up load with pictures, I accidently cut, and then copied something else, and all my words went away. Now my mood was headed for a dark place. My beautiful well intentioned day, was now dark, sad and grumpy.
The boys entered the room with tears as they had a fight on the way home. JOY! Why not. I can deal with EVERY ONES CRAP today.
Slowly the day improved. I did note with some sourness that no one thanked me for dinner, but I was feeling less grumpy after a nice meal, and hubby and I chatted over dinner, before he headed off to work, and things no longer seemed as bad.
I didn't end up going for a walk. I must be honest and confess, instead I became the cubby house QUEEN, and enjoyed what was left of my afternoon helping the boys build a cubby house.
By the end of it I was happy again, and feeling more like my cheerful self.
Lets hope it stays that way! ^_^