Sorry I have been away, so much as been going on, and I didn't really want to harp on with all of it on here.
Let's just say offers where made, and lovely gestures with hidden agendas discovered, and this Miss had to put on her big girl pants and stand up and sort things out for all concerned, all by herself!
The whole thing has left me feeling very tired and stressed, all mixed in with excitement and fear, and well just a rainbow of everything.
I have had to let go, to trust in myself, in my family, and just take a leap, and it is because I deserve this.
I have gone out on a financial limb, and today, for the first time in my life, I have taken out a personal loan, in my name, so that we can buy a new car!
Now this may not be a huge deal to some, but for me, it was an epic step, as I HATE owing money, and I am always quick to pay off my debts. They just stress me. But today I have committed myself, and our family to 7 years, hopefully sooner, of weekly payments to the bank so that we can upgrade to a safer more comfortable, family car.
Want to see what we are planning on getting............who cares it's my blog, I am going to show you!
So now my little Miss can get her L's and have our old car to start off with. She is going to buy it from us, for a good price, and pay $15/week till she has paid it off. Insurance and Rego will be her responsibility once she get's her licence. Her repayments will help us pay off our loan faster too, so at the end of the day we all win. Which is how I like it!
As for the other issue I have finally seen the light and I will not fall for it again. For it isn't the first time a hand as reached out from this person , full of hope and promise , and been quickly taken away. I guess I learn slowly?
Sometimes family can be the worst thing for you! A close family member out of the blue offered us an interest free loan to buy a car. But when we decided to take them up on it it became all about a car they wanted to sell, and not one we wished to buy. This car at first was offered, on the spur, and we sort of accepted, but I wasn't keen. The car for me is too big, and I just don't like it. But the seed was planted, and hubby started thinking that we really did need to think about upgrading. Which we did, and our older child needed a car of her own too.
I retreated to my safe bubble. When you don't have much, you tend to be caged over what you do. Not something of a good trait, I know, but I am always worrying about the what if's. It's my nature, so sue me!
Then this car was offered to someone else, which left us feeling a bit confused. You see this car wasn't theirs to offer, but someone else's.But the offer to still help with an interest free loan to buy a car of our choosing was still there. So we forgot about it, but not about buying a car. That seed was set, and well planted.
Then one morning, EARLY, I am woken up to be asked if we still wanted it.(The car) The other person changed their minds. Half asleep, and dazed, I said maybe, as hubby did, but I didn't. Then this family member threw in it needs new tyres, side mirror, and a service, and walked away before I could say or ask them anything. I closed the door and as I woke up realised this car was already $1000 + more expensive, and $1000 spare I do not have.
So I thought I would do some homework, and find out if the bank would actually give me money. I didn't think they would has we are low income, and hubby is only casual. But based solely on me, I was instantly, well about an hour or so, approved for a personal loan should I want it.
What got me was that the weekly repayments were the same as what was asked of me, and for a lot more money. So I thought with this I could actually get a NEW CAR, and not have any repair issues etc... just drive away with that new car smell.
So took myself to the car yard and made a few enquires. The man was falling over himself to sell me a car, and he offered me a NEW one with $2000 off the price.
This has annoyed this person, as they still have the issue of ridding themselves with this car, which belongs to one of their siblings who has up and left it on her plate. At the end of the day, the offer was really only a kindness in the hope we would rid her of the burden, and when we suggested that she loan our daughter a smaller loan to buy our car instead of giving us a loan, well then the real truth slowly became exposed.
If you are really concerned about someone you help them. If you are not, then don't bullshit.
Mean what you say, and follow through. So I washed myself of it all, and after much discussion with hubby and daughter, we decided to help ourselves.
At least this way there are no hidden hoops to jump, games to play, or enforced sucking up to do.
If people say they want to help you, when you haven't asked for it, the least you can do is follow through without staged performance and unlined clauses and making the person feel they are completely useless with out clue or thought or care. Big noting and belittling people, especially in front of strangers is not how I like to play ball. This person has always loved to grandstand and look wonderful in front of others.
I will be forever in my own debt. I am a survivor.