It has been an emotional roller coaster the past few days. For many reasons, and hence why I have been so vacant around here.
I am going to vent a little, cause I am female, and we vent, it's what we do....what can I say , it is like art really...... but I don't what to dwell on the negative and forget that life isn't still full of positive good nice things too.
My hubby came home from work the other night, and decided to ask our teenage daughter some deep questions. This came from his basic love for his daughter. A dad looking out for his kid, and making sure that she wasn't getting herself into something that was going to hurt her. She has already had 1 serious relationship, which wasn't good, and just after a 3 month stint at being single, threw herself into another. This boy we have met only 3 times. We hear only what comes out of Missy's mouth, and a lot of what she says is very much a cause for alarm for us. So basically he was trying to find out what her self worth was, and whether she thought this relationship, and all that it has to offer, was what she thought she deserved.
Well, what then came from our daughters mouth, was something neither of us expected. What it all boiled down to was that she blames us for being POOR. She blames us for living in a RENTED HOUSE. She is ASHAMED to bring her friends over because it is TOO BORING here. She is a shamed of the WORK we do, and resents us both having to work evenings for 2 years 5 years ago, forcing her to babysit her little brothers, which we struggled to put food on the table. She HATES that my back is fucked, wishes her brother didn't have ADHD, and basically if she could afford to she would move out.
Let me point out that the new boyfriend is what we would call RICH. Already has investments in his own home, and is working long hours in the building trade, and has a bright future a head. His mother is dating a millionaire, who owns his own small island. His dad and his new wife (#3) are in real estate. Get the picture. But this boy, only sees our daughter when it suits him. calls her when it suits him, and many a time she has been annoyed because he has ignored her on face book, but chatted to mutual friends. She just doesn't seem like a young woman in LOVE?? He has told her he'd like to be a father one day, but now is not that time, and should she fall pregnant , he would insist on her having an abortion. The family is different to ours. Not just money status, but moral. They poke fun at people for amusement. Racists really. They do not have issues with under age drinking/ partying....they are just different. NOT BAD, just not like us.
Since dating this boy, our daughter is changing. She is turning into someone we don't like much, which as a parent is scary. How can you not like your own child? But the blow she hit has been a deep wound, and has hurt both of us very much. I have no idea what happened to our beautiful baby girl? Nor do I know if she will ever come back?
Kids! you try so hard , you give them all you can, and they are still never happy. Our boys are hard done by because I insist they shower everyday, and brush there teeth! Man what is it with boys and not wanting to wash?
Every night it's the same battle. FFS so over it!
The other night I thought I would escape the world and run a bath....
I had been trying to find my own space since coming home from work. Finally I leave child 3 watching Willy Wonka and go run myself a nice bubble bath. I figured since I have been able to again pop on my own socks and shoes again, ( YES ...just this week!!) I would tackle the forest growing on my legs.
PEACE...........one leg done...................MUM....MUM....oh you are having a bath...can I hop in too... (as he is already getting undressed)
No....I am shaving my legs, and trying to relax.......
Too late he is in....and water in going all over the floor...
So he pulls the plug...............OUT........then freaks because the bath water is going down the drain..................
I sort that out...at great awkward expense...then finish my leg, and get out so he can have the bath to himself.
1 min later he is in my room dripping wet and asking what I am doing now........ lol
This morning it was let's argue with mum over whether we have brushed our teeth and hair. Might be more effective if you have actually done it, and your hair is neat, and the chocolate milk around your mouth is actually gone! Child nil , mum 1.
Then I get home make a cup of tea and sit by the computer to relax, in a hubby free, child free zone........
ENTER THE CAT.....
Cat wants to have pats......cat wants cuddles........one picks up cat and strokes cat affectionately and realises cat has some very smelly dried muck stuck down side of rump. GROSS!
Now have you ever tried to wash an unwilling cat?
Let's just say I won, and cat is now happy licking his clean rump outside in the sun, with not so much as a THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Right, so now your thinking I am free to chill and catch up on my space, my peace, my free mummy time.....
Well I could have been, but I am a Virgo, and we need to be up to date and organised. We got a letter from the Tax office with some basic details wrong. So I called them to correct things............... 45 mins later, paper work all over the floor, 2 phones calls to the Tax Office and 1 to our accountant, and let's just say I am back to where I started.
So after hanging up, I fell completely apart. My tea was now cold. I was emotionally fucked, my head was thumping, and I just let go. I just cried... Too much bullshit for this girl in one week.
kids back chatting, constant shopping, working, cleaning, bill paying, worrying, stressing, heat, no sex life, and just getting the feeling that life is slowly fucking you over........
So I cried....it was my last resort.....which woke up a very tired and run down hubby, who hasn't been well, because he has been stressed too, and working long hours and not getting much sleep, thanks to life, and this bloody heat wave we are having.
Nothing is better than sharing the load with a friend, and after a long stressful discussion we are both on page with what to do next which is good, despite the way we had to get there. But sometimes bad things actually turn out to be good......
Now hubby is back in bed, and I am about to go to the pool for my Hydro session, which is proving to be wonderful.
Back from Hydro..... the pool was divine. So relaxing to end the session with a nice float on a noodle, then a quick dip. Peace. Just the sound of the water lapping at my ears. Cool sweet water, on such a hot day. BLISS!
Get back home and my nice clean sink is full of dishes. Missy made herself lunch. Nothing wrong with that, just clean up after yourself. Now she is back off to work for the second half of her spilt shift. I asked her to clean up after herself , she said she would, but face book was more important. I shall leave it and see how long it will take?? Trouble is she used the main pot. She made PASTA. could have made a batch for everyone, considering her father is sick, and I am running on fumes, and she was home during the whole TAX phone call.....but no.............Miss I only think of myself, and never bother to say THANK YOU is too high above us....unless she needs a lift to work!
Sorry, long, long day..... boys home , hot and sweaty, and grumpy, and we have a school acquaintance night to go to, and hubby is not feeling really well at all.....so he is going back to bed, in the hopes that he can handle his shift at work tonight. So I shall be tackling that one on my own, (well with child 3, because child 2 & 3 are hell bent on not getting along this afternoon) which is fine, but seriously, once you have been to 1 you really don't need to go to any more. It is nothing that can not be popped into a newsletter..... just saying!
The other good news I wanted to share was that I have discovered a support group on face book with women who share my condition of PCOS. (Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome.) I am learning so much. Mainly why I haven't been able to loose weight despite all my good eating habits. So with just a few small changes to the diet, and I mean small, I have not gone full hard core as I have a family and they would not enjoy the food I would have to eat, I wouldn't much either....but the point is I have started to slim down. I am over the moon about it. I am not talking huge weight loss, but it's only been 3 weeks.....but enough that I noticed my work uniform is starting to become loose. So I shall keep up the new eating style, and see if this continues. The ladies are a wonderful bunch, and it is nice swapping ideas, and sharing experiences.
A friend of mine sent me these lovely pics last night in an email, and I thought they were just wonderful.
Well depending on where you are stay cool, or warm...and enjoy the Olympic games. I very much like the figure skating, but whenever I tune in it seems to be men skiing down huge slopes fast.
And if you are that way inclined enjoy valentines day on Friday.
We do not celebrate valentines day.
I feel it is commercial, and much prefer a sweet gesture when the mood strikes rather than a day of the year dictating when and how.
But if it rocks your world enjoy.
Now back out into the heat to attend 2 hours of meet and greet between the two boys classes.
Then home to eat, and hopefully chill. I think an early night is on the cards tonight.