I haven't been too chatty lately, times sand seems to be falling through that hour glass a little too quickly.
I won't lie, the last few months have been a
Hubby's job was on the rocks, he barely got any work over the Christmas break. Which meant money was tight, super tight. Perfect timing with Christmas presents needed, and the upcoming busy January filled with 1 Anniversary, 2 birthdays, 1 rent increase, and a bonus guess what you are paying for 100% of the water bills now thanks very much, and the back to school parlava.
It didn't help that I did my back a little again. Yeah me! Not super bad, but enough to put me out for two weeks. So that , on top of hubby, and Christmas trading, and all that joy of retail , and not so happy customers, I decided the best thing to do was to take a time out.
I discovered that I hadn't had any annual leave in two years, so I asked for 4 weeks in January. Partly just to get out of such a negative space, and partly to get out of their way as another lady I work with was now unable to work in her department , which meant we both had to work the same job. There was no room for two. So they were happy to give me my holidays, in fact they forced me to take an extra week.
Wonderful I hear you say, but it wasn't, our cat ended up dislocating his back paw toe, and despite the vets best efforts, he had to remove the digit completely. Our poor kitty was very grumpy, and sick for a full three and half weeks! Well you would be grumpy too if you woke up without a toe and no balls! $960 later, we have a healthy kitty. However the event didn't help put me in a relaxed holiday mood. Thankfully our daughter was on hand to help out on the vet bills, and some Christmas presents too....without which we would have had a glum Christmas day, and a dead cat. Yeah for working children!
To top it off when I got back to work, rosters needed changing, AGAIN, the lady in question was no better, so we can't work the same hours, and I was being pushed to work nights, which would mean my hubby couldn't work those nights, which meant even less money......my credit card was getting a right flogging.... STRESS..... STRESS...... SLEEPLESS NIGHTS......
Long story short, it got a bit ugly, the union was called, but in the end it took a sit down meeting with the store manager and my boss, and my self, and a 45 min honest discussion about what this means to my family. A lot things came out of that meeting, and to just stay on the positive, I managed to secure a permanent part time contract for hubby. So now we will know exactly how much money we will have, and he will always have work. It also means that next year we can have a holiday together, paid. Something we have not had for a VERY LONG TIME.
Sometimes you just have to hold your head up, and be brutally honest. There is no shame in TRUTH.
It's OKAY to say NO.
So here I am at the end of all that. It has only taken 6 months!
Staying focused on the positive side of my holiday break, it was lovely to just get up when I wanted, and go to bed as I pleased. The freedom of school runs, and homework, and work was just lovely. I stayed up till 3-4 am, and read 5 novels. We had PJ's days, and just did not much as we were stuck at home. The cat is now more friendly and actually wants to be around us, not just for food, and I managed to lose 3.5 kilos, without trying. BONUS!
Mind you the stress of the past few weeks back at work has helped me pop those babies right back on! Which just proves that STRESS and lack of SLEEP, makes you FAT!
But life always has a habit of giving you a little shake every now and then. Makes to take stock, rocks you, makes you feel uncomfortable and forces you to make a stand, and make a change.
So here I am, my kids have all gone back to school, hubby starts his new contract next week, as do I.........that makes 4 roster changes since August 2014. So once we have adjusted to the new routine, I think things will start to improve.
I did away with the New Year Resolutions this year.....they never go as planned anyway.....
I am taking this year day by day.....
The only promise I am making to myself is to be true and honest, and not to take shit. Listen to my gut. Ask for help when I need it.
I go around like I have to be some kind of super woman. I don't. I am human. I can spaz out like everyone else on occasion, that is OKAY.
I have my periods on track, not something I especially am thrilled about, but for a person with PCOS , that is a big deal. It means that something I am doing diet wise, life wise, is in the right track. Now I just need some peace in my life, so that I can keep going, and hopefully the weight side of things will follow as well.
I am FAT, but I am LOVED. To me that is a blessing. To be skinny doesn't mean I will be any happier. Life would still throw me curve balls. I would love to have my 18 year old body again.....who wouldn't, but as there is no time machine, and even if there was I wouldn't have the $$$ to ride it......I am here......middle aged, and surrounded by a beautiful loving family. I can't put a skinny price on that!
So heres to a new chapter........Welcome to 2015.......My wish for you all and for myself, and for this planet is summed up like this......
May 2015 be filled with laughter, love, security............and may all the wars and bullshit come to an end. May toxic food be removed, and health be in abundance. May everyone find their happy place. May we all learn to love each other, and most of all be loving to ourselves. For it all starts with you.