The Things We Do!

The Things We Do!

After a long day Tuesday, spent mostly at the hospital having some scans done, (nothing serious, they just are not sure what), I decided to spend the remaining day of my weekend, (which falls mid week once a fortnight) resting and chilling out.

Today was a rare occasion when hubby also had the night off, as he is working all day Sunday. (So the kids will have to wait till dad comes home to bestow upon him his Father’s Day stall and home made gifts.) We planned to get the boys to bed by 8pm and sit back and watch “A FARMER WANTS A WIFE” together, instead of taping it and watching it on our own. Fantastic, excited, and chocolate ready to go, a date night!

Boys get home from school, and I have them in the shower and all cleaned up, washed hair too; throw in some groans and moans. Why do boys hate being clean? Dinner in oven, I am feeling so on top of everything, hubby chilling and doing some modelling at the kitchen table, (Not fashion modelling, but model planes and spaceships, tanks and things) that is a rare event in itself these days. Dinner served, and all before child number 2 has to go off to his drama class; everyone happy, even child number 3 is amusing himself with a new app (MY PANIO). Nothing can go wrong…………….right??

Half an hour before said Drama class, Child number 2 announces that he has some homework due tomorrow.

“What kind of homework?” I ask.

“A project” he states.

“A project on what?” I ask again.

“I chose Japan” he pouts.

He starts telling me that the class started said project a few weeks ago, when we all had that horrible flu and spent 2 weeks sick and at home, (just so I now feel guilty) and he throws in, for good measure, that he is behind and doesn’t understand what the teacher wants him to do, but it must be done by morning or he will be in trouble.

Right, my inner self is screaming “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME RIGHT!” But the mummy in me says, “OK show me what you have done so far.”

He heads to his school bag while I am still prattling on about why he didn’t start this over the weekend, or tell me sooner that he needed help, and why he had played games all afternoon yesterday, and said, swore even, that he had NO HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!

He returns, not having answered any of my very important questions, a skill which he seems well mastered in, and shows me his assignment. I kid you not, I looked down and I saw a title page. “JAPAN”. I turn the page thinking that there is more……yes, there is more, a map of the world and a hand drawn flag. I think to myself, “OK, that is a bit sloppy, but it’s a start”, when I turn the page again………………….NOTHING………………..

next page……………..NOTHING…………………….next page………………NOTHING…………well you get the idea!

So I question again.

“What do you have to write about?”

“Where is the homework assignment sheet?”

“What questions does your teacher want answered?”

“What do you have to do?”

To all of the above I just got a flat… “I DON’T KNOW”

I did consider walking away, just saying well too bad buddy, you should have thought about it sooner, but I just couldn’t do it. So instead I turned on the computer, and began shouting………………”What things do you want to put in it? How about Bullet Trains, Japanese Food, Art, Dress, Gardens, Temples…………….”

“Yes” he smiles and adds, money. I have to add, what kind of money do they use?

“OK, I can work with this!”

Hubby takes him to Drama, while I go hunting on-line for above mentioned facts and start printing out pictures, while issuing threats to Child number 3 to remove himself with MY PANIO app, before I insert it where the sun don’t shine! Mummy can only listen to such noise for a short while and it’s now been an hour!!!!

After an hour, (due to being on dial up, man I miss broadband), I feel I have enough stuff to fill his assignment book. Child 2 returns from Drama class, and we get gluing, and colouring and cutting. During which time Child 1 gets home from Uni, and is all worked up over the book she is reading, and I have to tell her “NOT NOW”! But she comes in handy with her knowledge of Japanese, (I guess she did learn something in Jap Class!) and is able to write some words out for us in lovely swirly lines. The assignment is starting to look very nice, but I still have no idea if we are following the brief??

The clock is ticking, and Child 1 is spontaneously bursting out into tears, (Still reading last instalment of the HUNGER GAMES trilogy), and it is getting closer and closer to our 8 pm dead line. Hubby takes Child 3 to bed for some one on one, (playing Angry Birds on the Android Tablet) and to save mummy’s sanity, while I start rushing Child 2 on his finishing touches.

With one minute to go, and after 3 solid hours, our assignment on Japan is complete!

I tell you, if I don’t get an A for that I will be annoyed!

So much for my relaxing, chill-out day!

Oh the things we do for our kids. ^_^

Oh and Hubby and I did get to sit back and watch our TV show and share some chocolate. We only missed a bit of the start, and I only had to share him with our Kitten. Not a bad way to end the day. ^_^

A little joke to end the day on.

Viagra Bed: 

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. 

"How are you grandpa? He asks. 

"Feeling fine," says the old man. 

"What's the food like?" 

"Terrific, wonderful menus." 

"And the nursing?" 

"Just couldn't be better; these young nurses really take care of you." 

"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?" 

"No problem at all nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. I go out like a light." 

The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the nurse in charge. 

"What are you people doing?" he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?" 

"Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."

Generation 'Y' Indeed !

Don't you just want to go up to them and pull them up?

I feel like saying "Oh you poor love, didn't mummy and daddy teach you how to dress?"

It isn't cute, it isn't sexy, it isn't even cool, and no one cares what your undies look like! Pull up your bloody pants!!!

I have been told I am just too old to understand fashion!! Please, I am a child of the 80's!! 

I think maybe in years to come they will think that maybe they did look rather silly???

The other day, I watch this poor teenage boy, struggling helplessly with his jeans. The crotch of his pants was at his knees, and they kept falling down. 

As he approached the register I was able to see why his jeans where indeed falling down causing him to stop and pull them up every few steps.  

He had neglected to do them up. His belt, his zip, his button all lay open, displaying some rather bright red undies. I really don't think this fashion craze will kick off, but then again I am too 'OLD SCHOOL' !

It must be so uncomfortable too having to wear your belt buckle about your butt?? Surely?? Besides when guys wear their jeans like that, girls can't check out their butt. 

Girls like a good looking butt too you know!!

So please pull your pants up.

Have a nice day! ^_^

                        Some days I just want to hide!

Don’t you just hate door to door sales people. I know they are just doing a job, but honestly, When we say no thank you, we are happy with our electricity provider, please just GO AWAY!

It makes no difference who you are with. The rates are going up and up and up. It is a result of our government.  Our electricity bill came in a few weeks back, and I almost fell over, LITERALLY! In 3 months our bill went from $585 to $999! Just how much more can this current government bleed from us? Don’t answer that!

The whole carbon tax is a scam. Nothing has changed. Nothing at all, except more people have put solar power on the roof, and are currently, good on them, saving epically on their bills. So I guess the government needs to re-coup lost funds some how, so yes that’s right squeeze the poorer folk that much more!

What I hate most about these (mostly Indian) sales people is that they get very pushy, and rude, and just won’t leave it. I have the right to think about it, and not just in a 2 week cooling off period! Oh why did hubby answer the door??  You watch, the other mob will be around in the next few days trying to tell me that they are better, blah blah blah…

The fact is you are all too expensive! I really don’t like being rude to people, hubby even gave him a glass of water, (it is warm today), but I tell you this guy almost got to see the other side of CRISS and I can tell you that side is not pretty.

I have worked my whole life. I don’t have a high paying job, I work part time in a local supermarket. I consider myself lucky to have a job. My hubby also works at a supermarket, but he is on casual basis so our income varies depending on how many hours he can get. Some weeks are good, others are pretty bad. We rent an old house, and we get by raising our three kids. I’d say we are an average suburban family, living from pay check to pay check. I mean, who isn’t?

This year not only has our school fees gone up, and a new uniform introduced, (public school with a private school tastes), but the phone, insurance, petrol, food, electricity, and rego. So much so that all our hard earned savings have slowly disappeared. I can not save enough in time before the next big bill comes in. It is truly scary.

How do other families cope? What tricks do you use to save here and there?? Why do we even need to find tricks? If the 1% stopped controlling everything, and destroying our world with their greed, the 99% would be able to live less stressful lives too! It all comes back to them. All of it.

So please MR door to door salesman, just let me get by, and deal with the one hundred and one other things I have to deal with. I don’t want to consider the ins and outs of Electricity providers. I have to get dinner ready, and feed my kids and get in the car and get to work, so I can feed them next week too!

Sorry you won’t get your commission today, but I have my own problems!

Just smile Criss, breathe and smile………..hopefully one day the world will be a fairer place to live in, where there will be no more greed, no more war, no more hunger, and no more SUPER RICH who own everything, and control us all, like little puppet slaves! We can only HOPE! 

Coming of Age

Growing up I seem to have always learnt things via hard lessons. This is something I wanted to spare my children from. That was the one most important thing hubby and I agreed on, our kids would be protected no matter what.

So I, like I guess a lot children do, wanted to be so much better than my mother and father. I wasn’t going to make promises I couldn’t keep. I wasn’t going to lie to my kids, and I wasn’t going to keep them in the dark about their bodies.

When I was in the 6^th grade, our class was split up, and all the girls where taken into another room, and told taught all about periods.  I was 11 years old, and I was a bit of a tom boy. I still very much like playing with dolls, but I was equally at home digging up worms and climbing trees, and I certainly didn’t have any time for that kind of thing to be happening to me. YUCK, GROSS, no way!

  

I didn’t really take it all in, and I ended up having more questions after the talk than I did going in. However there was no way I was going to ask the nuns! My mother didn’t talk about such things. She was Catholic, enough said there. So what I learnt, I got from older girls, and friends and my one of my big sisters. I was even embarrassed to tell her (my mum) I was pregnant, as would be an admission of the fact I had sex. Mind you I had been married for 3 years; this is how awkward it was with her!

My biggest fear was my period actually starting. The thought of it just starting without me knowing when or where was terrifying. I thought it would just start, and like water coming out of a tap, just run down my legs. Well no one explained it!

  

When the day arrived, two weeks after my 13^th birthday, I wasn’t even aware. I was sitting on the lounge with my legs drawn up, resting my chin in my knees, in my PJ’s watching “A Country Practice” with my mum, and niece who was living with us, and my mum said I think you better go to the toilet. I looked at her confused, as I didn’t need the loo, but she gestured towards my crotch, and I remember looking down and thinking “what the hell is that?”

I jumped up and raced to the loo, and discovered that I was bleeding. Shock, horror, and disgust, was what I was feeling. My mother came back with a clean pair of pants, and this jumbo sized period pad. I am not exaggerating. It was long, and thick, and just gross.

My mother had gone through the change years before, and I think these were some olds ones left over from her day. MASSIVE! She said as she tossed it to me, “Congratulations you are a woman now” and walked away.That was it. I think my reply was “I don’t want to be a woman!”

I sat there on the loo with this thing and tried to sort out how to wear it. When I eventually came out, with this massive padding between my legs, I couldn’t even walk normally. I felt so cheated of my youth, and I hated the feeling of this pad. Thank goodness pads are now paper thin, so much better.

 So anyway, I wasn't going to let my daughter suffer like that. I have never hid my body from my kids. None of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly! Especially my daughter, who has seen me slim young, fat and heavily pregnant, and now much older, bigger and middle aged. That is another thing my parents did. I have one memory of my mother's breasts, and that was when I caught her dressing. I was amazed at how big and round they were, and wondered if I too would get breasts like that. She yelled at me to leave the room, but I wasn't ashamed of my mother. She was ashamed of herself. My kids have never thought it strange to come into the bathroom while I am showering, or if I am on the loo to have a chat, or ask for me for something, usually something like “Mum, can I have a biscuit?” which of course, right at that moment I can not do anything about, so they hang there and chat some more. What can I say, I have a strange family. I have never hidden the fact that I am female, and occasionally I bleed. Not even from my boys.

Too many young men seem to have this weird fear of menstrual blood. They won’t even touch a packet of Carefree, let alone go buy it for their partner. I did have much fun with an young (almost 30) male manger of mine, he was afraid of female blood. So if he was hanging about too much, I would strike up the 'Girly Talk' with someone. You know, something like  "My cramps are bloody painful today!" or "My period is really heavy this week", he would turn around and walk the other way so fast. My boys will not be so precious. My hubby has always been cool with it. It is a natural part of life. Face it, women bleed. My boys don’t freak out if I have my period. When they were little, they even wanted to peel the sticky bit off and help me. (That was annoying), but they are not freaked out, and so wont be when one day they have a partner.

I answer their questions, “Mummy does that hurt?” or “Mummy do boys get their periods too?” so now they are not fussed at all. As it should be! Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Be open and honest with them. Pass down your knowledge; it is a wonderful gift to share.

My daughter was actually so happy and excited the day she got her period. I was just home from hospital, after child number 3 was born, and she came in to wake me from a nap. I was so shocked, she was younger than I was. So I showed her how to use the pad, and hugged her. She raced off and told her dad. I marvelled over how different her experience was to mine. It was really something to be celebrated, and she taught me that.

Next day though the novelty had worn off, and she was asking me when is this going to stop! Sorry kid, welcome to growing up. My girlfriend’s daughters were all a bit more moody about things. I had a friend at the time who thought I was nuts for allowing my kids in the loo when I was on my monthly’s. She never shared any of that stuff with her daughter, thinking it was to scary for her. She wouldn't even tell her kids she was having a period and hid her tampons, (I keep my feminine hygiene products in the loo, nice and handy.) Yet when the time came, her daughter was upset, and mine was totally accepting of how life is. So I guess I must have done something right?

It is just a ‘Rite of Passage’, a ‘Coming of Age.’

SHE IS WOMAN

Thought of the day!

Watch your thoughts; they become your words.

Watch your words; they become your actions.

Watch your actions; they become your habits.

Watch your habits; they become your character.

Watch your character; they become your destiny.

- Frank Outlaw -

This is so true.

Quietly Missing You

Saturday morning at 4:30am I am awakened by my faithful hubby so I can get up and start getting ready for work. For a few precious seconds I think how wonderful it is that he has stirred me from my slumber, but then reality hits, and I can't hold in the small sigh of sadness.  I start work at 6am on Saturdays. He was at work the night before, and so we haven’t seen each other since 7:30pm Friday night, which was only for a few hours which consisted of dealing with our 3 kids. Child number 1 needed to be taken into work to drop off paper work, then to her boyfriend’s house. Child number 3 was a good boy at school so as promised, mum, that’s me, took him to the shops for a well deserved treat, and we did some quick shopping too. So if you really add up the time Hubby and I had it was probably only 15 minutes, shared with the cat.

We seem to live like this now. I work early days, or afternoons, and he works nights. When I am up, he is asleep, and vice versa. We have spent the past four years working side by side almost. We both worked at the same supermarket stacking shelves.  Yes we are the little elves that come out at night and make your grocery items appear on the shelf all pretty and ready for you to buy. It is hard work. It is non-stop filling, we have a 55 carton per hour rate to stick to and it keeps you fit.

What I really enjoyed most was the drive to and from work. It was the only time we had without kids to talk. No child to butt in, and need something right then and there. Just us, quietly, with maybe just the some music to surround us in, our time, just us. I miss it. I miss our just us time. Occasionally we even worked side by side, and that was fun too, but I would always end up laughing too much and the boss would equate that to not working so she would split us up. That’s us, we are best friends. We enjoy each others company. Even still after being with each other for almost 26 years. The job isn’t the most rewarding, but occasionally we had some good nights.

Recently I hurt my back at work, and it was that bad I was sent to hospital via ambulance. My first time as the patient in an ambulance, and I hope my last. My injury was bad enough for doctors to deem night fill no longer a safe thing for me to do. So now I work out the front of the store, on check outs, and as store greeter, and I am the run around girl who sorts out stock, and customers who can’t find things, well you get the idea.  Basically I am doing a safer job for me, and I don’t get in trouble for talking anymore. Bonus!

I am a people person. I do like my own space and occasionally really need to just shut the world out, but I also need very much to be around people, and sharing a laugh. The sad part is I don’t get to do this with my hubby anymore and I miss him a lot.

I guess there are a lot of family’s working like this to just get by? Hubby had to work Sunday this week too. Sunday is the only day of the week we can have together, so I really have noticed his absence. But you have to do what you have to do, and we have to do it. That is just life for us at the moment.

He was so tired, as he worked Saturday night and then had to go in early Sunday morning. His body clock thrown, he couldn’t sleep, so now he is in bed, catching up, and I am here writing all my thoughts down for no one in particular to read but me.

  

The kids have been really full-on this weekend. Child 2 and 3, both boys, have been fighting much of the day. Siblings often do. They love hate each other, but today the love was on the weaker side. So as today was my only day off that I could call a weekend, I was a bit pissed at their constant bickering.

 As child 1 and boyfriend weeded the garden for money, child 2 and 3 were in a massive time out. Child 3 was sent to room to settle down, and child 2 was made to vac the house to put some of that temper into a positive outcome. I found myself on my day off, cleaning, washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning out the litter box, and cooking for my forever hungry children.  I was feeling very frustrated and lonely and lost and angry.

I had to pull myself out of this spiralling gloom and not allow these blood sucking monsters, my dear children, to ruin my weekend. I decided that I would make sure that somewhere in this busy day I would do something for me. So I coloured my hair.

I coloured, and plucked my eyebrows and even shaved my legs. Suddenly I felt more womanly. However it didn’t ease the loneliness I was feeling. As I was combing through the hair dye I missed the fact that Hubby would do this for me. He has done it for years. Well since I did it once and missed a big patch at the back of my head! I hope I haven’t done that again! He is kind that way. He makes me laugh. That was the first thing that attracted me to him, his ability to make me laugh. He even puts on hairdresser voices; my favourite is the camp guy. He just is my best friend. It is just another thing that seems to be disappearing.

We are like passing strangers in the night, and every stolen kiss, hug, glance, is treasured, even if it is at the front door to say good bye.

So for now this is what life is. School runs, housework, work, sleep. It is just a change. Another change we need to learn to adjust to. I hope in time we discover the balance. He helped me start my Blog, and I am enjoying being able to just pour my thoughts out, it is almost comforting.

I know the importance of positive self talk, and I know that this too will pass. It is just a day, and my man is not far from me. He is just down the hall, asleep in our bed, resting his weary body. So I type, to keep myself company, but soon I too need to sleep, for tomorrow the week starts over. So I will fall into slumber, and my man will rise, for he is a creature of the night, and tomorrow we will again meet amongst the chaos of the world we have created, our family. I am looking forward to tomorrow night, as he is not working, and so when I get back home, we can share a few precious hours together before I have to again return to slumber to face another day.

I use to share those nights with him. Sleep those days with him. For in those days are some of the best days of my life. I shall keep the memories safe in my heart, locked away for only me, and wish that soon he and I will find a way to be just more than passing strangers in the night.

Let’s talk about SEX!

“Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm”

WARNING THIS BOOK IS ALL ABOUT PLEASING WOMEN!

I wonder if I have caught your attention? 

I would like to firstly congratulate Kim and Mark, on writing such a beautiful book. Not only is it well written, but tastefully and artfully illustrated too. That's right pictures!

This book is a step by step guide on how to please your woman. It helps explain things that even we women can't put into words, and it is so on the money! If you want a book to help improve your sexual satisfaction then look no more. This book covers it!

I learnt that we women even have a preference. Some of us like to go clock wise, and some are anti-clock wise, and it makes the world of difference. So now you are thinking aren't you?? How easy is that description for your man? "Go Clock wise Honey, mmmmm, yes thank you!" So ladies, first discover which way your motor runs best, and then tell you partner so he isn't sweating for ages trying his loving best and you are anxiously not wanting to hurt his feelings, but extremely frustrated that the climax is hanging just out of reach. 

Wouldn't it be wonderful if women stopped experiencing this....

....and started experiencing more of this !

I also learnt that the clitoris was more than just that little pleasure bud hidden between the folds of your womanly bits. In fact it is quite large and is more shaped like a wish bone. Simulating it can be achieved via many directions, and with mind blowing results.

You can also learn more about this fact here~ http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin-ross/2012/02/erectile-tissue-clitoris

In fact " Satisfaction: The art of the Female Orgasm" would be a fantastic book to educate young teenagers instead of that so called 'Sex Education' they get in school. How can you expect to teach these teenagers how to respect, and please each other if you only concentrate on the basic STD's, Condoms, and Periods! My daughter told me they didn't even use a realistic looking penis for the condom demonstration, but used a banana instead. Nor did they take it seriously, as they all felt silly and laughed. They didn't even get to touch a condom, or have a go at the banana! Don't laugh, is it any wonder so many kids are clueless and make basic mistakes with their protection. If you are going to 'EDUCATE' them well don't just give them half the information!

There is no use acting like our kids are all so innocent. They see more sex on TV, Movies, and over the Internet, than we ever did at the same age. The world of computers has changed everything, and it is much easier for a young boy to source porn now, than back in the days when he would either have to find his dad's stash, (without him finding out), or buy his own, (again another world of issues), plus not let mum find them under the bed when she changes the sheets!

What annoys me about sex education is that they omit RELATIONSHIPS/LOVE out of it. Too many young teenagers are having sex far too early and for all the wrong reasons. By the time sex education comes along more than 50% are already active. So wouldn't it make sense then to explore the more emotional side, and pleasure side, and perhaps even turn out less selfish men, and more satisfied women? It might even improve the divorce rates? Shouldn't we want to empower more of our young to make the right choices?

Teenagers are just raging hormones. The book 'Puberty Blues' was great in the day at illustrating this fact. They have even made a TV series on the book now. Well here in Australia. I haven't watched it so I cannot comment. But I have seen the movie.

Basically boys really just want to get off, and if a girl is willing to do the honours, either by hand, mouth, vagina or anus, he is over the moon! The problem is the girl thinks that he will like her more (well in those few minutes he certainly does!) She then becomes totally crushed when she becomes the notch on his belt and the talk of the school yard. 

I remember when I was in High School. Some of my friends started dating, and of course if the relationship lasted more than a few weeks, it was considered serious. Well everything to a teenager is so very important to them right in that moment. They can't see the future. They seem to have problems with consideration of others outside their own immediate needs. So when the guy starts to move the hands about and explore he will keep going till the girl says stop. If he is a respectful boy he will listen, if he is only out for the golden prize he will resort to blackmail.

My best friend at 14 found herself in such a situation. She was dating an older boy from another school. He was very pushy. She was very inexperienced, it was her first boyfriend. He started putting on the heavy word. Things like "If you LOVE ME you would" and getting all shitty and making her feel like the bad guy. She confided in me one lunch time. Not sure why me, I hadn't even kissed a guy. She knew that if she didn't 'DO IT' this weekend he would dump her. Romantic I know! Well my gut told me this guy was a jerk, but she was really mixed with her feelings. As I had no real experienced with boys I wasn't able to understand what she meant, why she was so torn and frustrated with herself and him. I totally get it now, she was getting all sexually turned on, and had no way of dealing with these feelings, and this is why Sex Education SHOULD cover these issues!

What she was feeling with him in the moment was nice. Really nice. Her body was wanting more, but her head was not sure. Let's face it, dating a guy for a month when you are in high school, and I am talking back in the day when there was no FACE BOOK, mobile phones etc... We had to WRITE LETTERS and post them.....I am moving off topic, Sorry....

She wasn't feeling safe in the relationship; she wasn't IN LOVE with him. Basically she wasn't really ready for this yet. We could say she was maybe IN LUST with him?? Her body was responding naturally to certain touches. Let's not lie, fooling around is fun. Very fun! But of course us girls have more to worry about. Going all the way could mean an STD or a baby if you’re not careful, and that is a real fear. 

I remember telling her that she should just go with her gut, and not be bullied into it. I thought he wasn't cool, but she was all a bit starry eyed. Well anyway, said weekend arrived, and they had his place to themselves for a few hours. He got all hot and heavy, and she gave in as he had gotten some condoms. I know, hats off to this guy, he thinks of everything. The story she told me has never left me. I am actually grateful to have been educated like this; she did me a HUGE favour. He basically put on the condom, and lay her on the sofa (style, such style) and went in for the kill! Her words and I quote were 'It hurt, it really hurt' and he was totally blind to her pain. I mean she was ready right? Totally shit scared and dry as a bone, and tense, ready right? She started crying, and she just lay there crying till he was done, which was pretty quickly, for which she was very grateful. 

YUCK! What a HORRID FIRST TIME. Shame on that boy’s father for not teaching him how to respect a woman!!! Oh and he dumped her a few days later too. Classy guy!

Now, what if she had some knowledge up her sleeve? What if she knew more about her own body first? What if she understood more about herself? What I love about this book is that it teaches women and men about a woman's body. Guys seem to just fall into masturbation. They are always in a love affair with there best friend. I have little boys and they love their Willy's! "Look mummy, when I do this it goes all straight!" Yes I will tell them that one day when they are older. Point is they seem born with a natural fascination with it. It sticks out, always in view, and they handle it everyday. After discovering, usually innocently what it can do, they never stop. Really, they never do, and ladies don't think just because you are married, and they have all of the ‘sweet shop’ that they stop, THEY NEVER STOP, and that is NORMAL and very OK.

For most of us women, things are different. We are almost dormant until awakened. Our bits are all tucked away, hidden, and very much out of the way. It bleeds, and is usually not very liked at all. We have to learn to love our woman bits, where as men have never not LOVED their Willy! Even today, not many girls have actually grabbed a mirror and had a look, and when we do most think YUCK!

But until you can find pleasure and acceptance with your body, you will never fully enjoy, or get the most out of any sexual encounter. So what if she had known how to pleasure herself? It would have certainly helped reduce the urgency of having a guy do it. She would have had a better understanding of what she liked in terms of touching. What if he was aware of how to please a woman? What if he had spent some time getting her ready, kissing, licking touching, turning her on, and blowing her mind? They both probably would have had a better time. Well she would have!

Girls often regret their first time. I have heard countless times a girl saying "I wish I had waited" or "I wish so and so was my first, as he really cares about me".

That is exactly my point. I learnt from my dear friend that: 

a) I never want to feel that kind of pain. 

b) If a guy really loved me he wouldn't want to hurt me.

c) That if he really respected me he would wait till I was ready too.

My friend’s world changed that day. I saw a physical change in her. She was no longer ever the same. She was hardened a little, and she also had an “Oh well, I have lost my virginity now, so who cares” attitude. She dated a lot, as she was known to put out, and she did. Back of cars, at the beach, it was scary. Lying to her parents, saying she was sleeping over at friend’s homes, when she was actually hanging out drinking, her way of coping with it, and sleeping around. She just didn't care. It really made me sad. She was so very unhappy for a long time. Of course now she is married and has kids, and the last time I saw her she was happy, but she lost more that weekend than her virginity, she lost her innocence, and her wonder, and trust in LOVE.

Now Kim Cattrall (she played Samantha from the Sex in the City) admits she never had an orgasm till she met Mark Levinson. He was her third hubby I believe. It was his love and devotion that eventually allowed her to fully open up and explore and finally enjoy SEX. They wrote the book “Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm”, because of this. Kim wanted to help other women, who like her, just were not getting satisfied in the bedroom. Now you wouldn't think that sexy Samantha who slept with most of the men in New York would be utterly clueless in her own pleasure now would you? But there you have it, she was, and she was so sad about it. Makes me wonder about all the men she slept with!

Sometimes it just takes someone to give a damn. Who isn't SELFISH, it helps to be committed. It helps to know your own body, and how it can sometimes think you’re ready for things when you are not.

Kids think sex is where it’s at. Some believe oral sex isn't even having sex at all! Don't get me started on that issue! 

Young boys should be taught how to give oral sex too! They are very ready to thrust their member into a girl’s mouth with instructions 'DON'T BITE' but how many actually care to return the favour? Now not everyone finds oral sex to be of their liking, but I can't imagine having great sex without it somewhere. My best orgasms have resulted from fantastic Cunnilingus. Not all us girls can cum through intercourse alone, and fact is most of us can't. So if you can, well done you! It makes me very mad when I hear guys saying, and I have, "There is no way I am going down on a girl" but they fully expect blow jobs! It makes me want to slap their Willy's right off!

I came upon this book at our local library, and honestly was surprised by its honesty, and down to earth brilliant advice. They discuss concepts such as love, trust, communication, from both a male and female perceptive, and as I think I have said the illustrations are beautiful and very instructive. If you have young teenagers get this book to them before they cause emotional damage to someone or themselves. If you are going to have sex, you might as well really enjoy it, right, or what's the point??

Here is what some people have said about the book~

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

“Pleasing colour sketches and simple diagrams adorn the pages of Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm by famed Sex and the City actor Kim Cattrall and her husband, jazz musician Mark Levinson. The fact that Cattrall's character on the show, Samantha Jones, is a sexual giantess is likely to bump up sales a notch for this attractive, children's-size book, but nevertheless it's a very worthwhile read. Simple concepts--open communication, trust, love, and a consistent interest in pleasing one another--are the ingredients for an enriching and fulfilling sex life that can bring two people ever closer, according to the text. The facts speak for themselves: when pressed, women will confess in droves that they are sexually frustrated. It's tricky to communicate one's carnal desires to one's lover, yet both parties must be open to this type of ongoing discussion for the formula to work.

Meanwhile, a little education for men can go a long way. The concepts are basic--anyone who isn't a virgin probably knows them. But the rub lies in the consistency, the selflessness, and the patience required of the man. Cattrall and Levinson ask their male readers how they'd feel if they experienced some physical pleasure during lovemaking but never got to climax; they would likely get frustrated after a while. So an abiding devotion to pleasing the woman is a basic assumption throughout, and one that isn't commonly pointed out in such an open way elsewhere. Some readers may think Cattrall and Levinson's approach offers nothing new or exciting, but this honest reminder of what it takes to be a sensitive and satisfying lover is just what the doctor ordered.” --Teri Kieffer.

From Publishers Weekly

"Some people... assume that for me to play a sexually open character, like Samantha Jones on HBO's Sex and the City, I must have had fabulous sex most of my life. Well, the truth is that until three years ago most of my sexual experiences were miserable," confesses Kim Cattrall, in Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm, a slim yet pensive guide to pleasing women in bed. Simple sketches accompany the dry text (written by Cattrall and her husband, Mark Levinson), explaining different techniques men and women can use. This book is decidedly unflashy and its approach is not at all brashly sexual (like Cattrall's TV character). Rather, it is a thoughtful manual on women's orgasms."

"This book is a GREAT guide for oral sex, and really only touches lightly on anything else (to avoid redundancy, according to the authors. To paraphrase, "many great books have been written on technique in intercourse" etc.) The authors were very specific in the problems pleasing most women, orally and otherwise. It addresses that all women are different, there's nothing that will work on everyone, and tips on how to find out what your female partner enjoys. Even men (and women) that *think* they know how to satisfy a woman would learn something from this sensitive, well-written book. It's full of sexy secrets that will bring something new to bed...or improve old acts."

So let’s not rely on PORN to teach our men how to please us in the bedroom. Let's start getting honest, and caring, and teaching our young properly. I gave my daughter this book to read, and she although very red faced and embarrassed, was grateful for the extremely helpful advice. She learnt much about herself. I wish my mother had told me more.(She told me zip!) I was lucky, or was smart, to wait for the right man to come along. He was caring and patient and very happy to take his time. We had much fun learning about our bodies, and it was loving and slow, and by the time we felt ready to go all the way, we had perfected the art of ‘outer course’ for us. He knows exactly how to make me ‘shake’ and that is something each couple has to learn. He is also responsible for teaching me how to masturbate too! For which I am grateful for. Oh come on, why should the boys get all the fun!

I urge everyone to take a look at this book. It is just brilliant. It's up to us to teach our kids too. Wouldn't you want then to be happy in all areas of life? Inform your young, and they will make better choices.

Have an orgasmic day. ^_^

This is my message to myself today. You can share it with me too. We must always remember to LOVE ourselves too. It is easy to love some else. It is easy to forgive someone else. We have to remember to do these things for ourselves too. Tough lesson to learn. We are often too hard on ourselves than we need to be. I was told once to talk to myself as if I was taking to my best friend. I have to stop sometimes and ask myself if I would say that to my friend? If the answer is no, then the question is, why are you saying it to you??

Love and Hugs


(...and yes I do talk to myself......sign of madness I know........at least now I talk to the computer......it sometimes talks back! ^_^)

I can feel my romantic gushy side coming out over this one. I know, I know, I am a lost cause. Truth is I couldn't stand to live in a world without LOVE. 

 (I read this today and thought I'd share.)

What to Learn from Annoyingly Happy People

Focus on Now

"No matter how stressful life can be, learn to really be present at whatever you’re doing. If you spend your time worrying about what’s next, you’ll never have any fun!"

Say “No”

"If there are two words that are keys to contentment, they are ‘limits’ and ‘boundaries'. Prioritizing the must-do items on our lists is essential, after which the should-do list must be narrowed down with polite but firm no-can-do responses."

Smile at Mean People

“If you open your boundaries to let your self-esteem become vulnerable to how anyone feels about you, there is always an inexhaustible supply of people who can create constant guilt and misery in your life. Instead, find your self-worth from within and those meanies will never get you down!"

Laugh at Your Spills

"You’ll never catch an annoyingly happy woman sweating the small stuff. If they drive to the wrong airport or lose the concert tickets they can still find a way to have fun because they know (and truly believe!) that getting upset doesn’t prove anything.

When one person in a family or in a group can manage to laugh when things go wrong, or see the silly side of situations, it helps everyone lighten up. And then the atmosphere becomes more cheerful and fun,” says Gretchen Rubin, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, The Happiness Project, and The Happiness Project blog.

Keep your home photo shoot-ready

"It’s not that happy women have nicer digs than us, it’s that they pare down the extraneous stuff in their lives -- household items, clothes, people who are a drag on them. For me, and for most people, outer order contributes to inner calm -- more than it should. Clutter seems trivial, but it has a surprisingly large influence on our happiness. Spend ten minutes before you go to bed picking up the day’s clutter. You’ll be surprised how much more cheerful a (semi) neat house will make you feel when you wake up."

Be happy about everything

"Why wait for those big life moments (weddings, graduations, trips to Europe) to feel happy when you can find pleasure in life’s little day-to-day events (like a relaxing bubble bath at the end of the day, watching a DVD with their honey or even getting free refills on their soda). Contentment is cumulative enjoyment, not an explosion of ecstasy. Appreciate the happiness and humor of the moment even when it may seem small or insignificant. Celebrate the next time you run into a good friend or get a really good price on a pair of shoes. Hey! Why not?"

Trick your mood

"Even happy women may not always feel 100 percent content (who does?) but, for the most part, they make up their minds to be in a good mood. When it’s easier to feel grumpy, they put on a smile and always try to see the positive side of a situation.

Allowing yourself to unnecessarily feel bad, miserable or guilty about something never made the situation better. Most events can be viewed from different perspectives and that’s when it’s important to ‘make the best of it’ and ‘see the glass as half-full.

Spend a day telling yourself that you’re in a good mood -- and smile more. Fake it till you make it!"

Have a can-do attitude

"Happy women are doers, not complainers. Instead of talking a situation to death (I really should lose weight) they go at it gung-ho! Remember, thinking is not doing.When was the last time your landlord was satisfied that you thought about paying rent or your boss was satisfied about you thinking about doing your job? If there’s a problem or situation you've been talking about for months take a concrete step toward tackling it."

Let “just okay” be just perfect

"Although they may seem “perfect” annoyingly happy women aren’t perfectionists. They know that it’s better to look okay and go out than stay home because they don’t look flawless. They are okay with not being at the “it” party every night. Until there are 40 hours in the day, 10 days in the week and the ability to be in two or more places at the same time there will always be good things that must be passed on, and things that can be accomplished, but not perfectly.Be kind to yourself and remember that your idea of so-so is probably someone else’s idea of excellent!"

Know that people are flawed

"Happy people know to lower their expectations of others. When you don’t rely on other people’s actions and reactions for your own happiness then the ball is truly in your own court. Even the people we are closest to will sometimes be a drag on us and let us down.The key is to appreciate people for who they are and not try to change them. When you do that you’ll understand that happiness isn't something other people can provide you with, but that you can find within yourself."

HAVE A GREAT DAY ^_^