Well hello again.....................

Today I bumped into a lady I work with. She has just spent the year off work.....why you ask?? I wish I could say it was an extending holiday...lotto win.....a trip around the world....but sadly it was so she could spend every moment with her husband. This time last year he was told he had 2 weeks to leave......he died 2 weeks ago. They had been married for 38 years, together for 40. 

Even though she is full of sadness and loss, and I have no wish to ever want to understand what she is going through, she impressed me with her honesty, and grace. Her life is not over. She is sadly still here. Nights are the lonely, and she can't sleep.........but she is taking it one day at a time, and my heart just goes out to her.

A very good reminder of how short and precious life is.........

 ....It really made me think....I have just spent 3 almost sleepless nights. I have no idea why I am not sleeping. Probably too busy worrying about Christmas, and work, and my back, and my teen aged daughter, and what the fuck I need to buy for Christmas bloody lunch.

I am not really a huge fan of Christmas. I see it as a commercial nightmare. I do love watching the kids open their presents on Christmas morning, but then the day is pretty much back to same old....just with  a lot of extra cooking and cleaning. So over it. The shopping, planning, cooking, fussing..........if the kids were not little I wouldn't even bother. Honestly! Retail has sucked the fun out of it all. If I was rich I'd go away each Christmas and spend it by a pool with my family and just forget all the bull shit friendliness reserved for just this time of year with people who are never fucking around for the rest of it.

I must say this year has been my cheapest as I have cut out  a lot of people from my shopping list. Family or no family. You are grown up, working, and you never think us. So what the hell am I worried about you for? You will be fine. I cared for you, but that doesn't mean I am a door mat. 

So Christmas this year has become about the people in my life who give a fuck. Who are there when things are bad, and when things are great, and when things are  just things...and life is just boring..........these people I care about and wish to give back to in my small Criss way.... I think that is so much more real than all this pretend bullshit.

 

 So for the sake of the boys the tree went up again this year lights and all. It looks rather pretty at night with the lights on, but my tablet isn't the best for photo's but you get the idea.... and so far the cats have not tried to climb it!

 Now we have been really sick these past few weeks. We seem to have caught a rather nasty flu bug that was going around, and yours truly wasn't spared and I spent 5 days unable to eat, and being sick, and feverish, and rather yucky. Happy to report that we are all back to almost normal, just all still getting tried still.........not that it helps me to sleep!

So I went totally domestic as soon as I felt half way decent. This house was covered from top to bottom with antiseptic cleaners, and I even did the light switches. You name it, what ever those little grotty buggers could touch was utterly cleansed with in an inch of it's life. The house smelled like a mixture of Glen 20, and Pine-o-clean and bleach. There was no way I was going back for round 2.

With getting better, so did my frisky feelings, and I was so looking forward to the weekend. Miss was away all weekend, and I had the weekend off. 2 nights of Hubby time, and fun, and hopefully sex...........

...instead hubby had a shit time at work, and brought it all home, and so my beautiful romantic candle lit dinner was over run by almost  two hours of ranting and venting about work. He was pretty pissed, and rightly so, and he needed someone to talk to, and who better for that than me.... which I am happy to do.....It was just bad timing...no ones fault...but he was depressed, and pissed, and so no fun was had FRIDAY or SATURDAY or SUNDAY or........maybe that is why I can't sleep???????????

This is Molly. She has recently taken a liking to our bed. She has been my day time bed buddy all weekend. This time last year we were all waiting the arrival of her kittens. Hard to believe that was 12 months ago!

Even though I can be barking mad sometimes, I do have much to be happy about, and that is after all what is important right? I love this crazy bunch of misfits to bits.

True story.............ask anyone who knows me! On the other hand best not!!!!!

Oh how I wish it was this easy........................................lol

So night after night I lie there  awake, trying hard not to look at the clock.....THINKING............TURNING............fluffing pillows............ more THINKING.........

....and wishing that my hubby would cheer up, and feel better and ravish me so I can SLEEP AGAIN!!!!!!!

Don't think about sex I tell myself.....sssshhhhhhhh.......shut-up or you will never get to bloody sleep.........................Fuck it's now 2am.........you went to bed 3 hours ago...................what shall we have for Christmas lunch............was that the cat..............................did I pay the phone bill...........................

Sorry was I thinking in type mode again wasn't I ?????

...and then there was this incident...........shall I call it my senior moment of the year???

YES I DID............yes that, exactly that............................ I got up, and showered, dressed, and got the boys to school, and Miss to her job, then drove 25 mins into work. Got there a bit early, sat in the lunch room for a bit then clocked on and went out on to the shop floor and began my day with my customers............

After about a minute or two, my boss for the day asks what I am doing with a funny grin on her face..... WORKING......like dah....what else would I be doing here in my uniform behind the counter???

She shook her head.....I looked puzzled....she looked at the roster book, and as she scrolled her finger across the printed black type it all started to make perfect sense.

I had screwed up my weeks. I was indeed working that day......I was just 8 bloody hours EARLY!

So I was sent back home to where my shame was exposed to all, and was greeted affectionately by hubby who could only say.........

YOU DICK HEAD!

lol

It's been a hell of a few weeks like I said........... I hope things soon, well once Christmas is over.......start to just mellow out and be simple.

SO just in case I forget who I am or where I am.........do have a lovely CHRISTMAS.......I am bound to catch up before then  I hope....

HUGS as always

Stay safe..................

27 years ago today...............................

Do you remember the first time you saw the love of your life? Close your eyes, let your mind take you back. Can you feel it?

Well let me take you on a little journey back in time, my time, the time my life changed completely. 

I can remember it as if it was yesterday. I walked into the kitchen to make myself some tea. I was doing homework. Year 11 of high school. I wanted to do well, and as I wasn't naturally gifted, I had to work my butt off to keep my good grades. I was a good girl. I wanted my mother to be proud of me. I didn't smoke, drink, sneak out, get pregnant, take drugs, or tattoo myself, and I still accompanied my mother to church each Sunday. To some I was 16 and BORING. But as the youngest of 5, I was smart enough to know that I didn't want to end up like some of my siblings.


Sat at my kitchen table was my brother, his at the moment girlfriend who was the mother of his daughter, and this guy who was nodding off at the table, and looked liked he was stoned. Well most of the 'friends' my brother had where all into 'sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll', so it wasn't hard for me to jump to that conclusion was it?

He was introduced to me as 'Dicky'. I remember rolling my eyes and thinking, 'Yep that is an appropriate name for a druggie looser', and going back to my room to listen to my radio which was playing hits from Madonna, Cyndi lauper, Dire Straits, Whitney Houston, Lionel Richie, George Michael,  Billy Ocean and Bananrama. Oh the 80's was good for music.


I stayed in my room until they all left. I remember hoping that he wouldn't come back..........but he did. However the next time I met him, he wasn't all dopey, he was clean, and shaven, and very polite. Nothing like my brother's typical friends. I soon discovered he had a steady job, again not like my brother, and that the other day he had just come off night shift and hadn't gone to bed yet that day, and was really tired.

So I mentally scolded myself for being a judgemental bitch, and decided not to be a snob. But the name 'Dicky' had to go, that was just yucky. One afternoon hanging out watching videos, and laughing, which was what started my attraction to this guy, he could make me laugh like nobody could. I started asking questions. I am female, and nosey  and I liked him, so I wanted to know more.

His name in fact was Richard, much nicer than DICK, so I never called him 'Dicky' again. Turns out he hated being called that too, so I scored well on that one. He was a shift worker at our local steel works. In fact he was still doing his apprenticeship as a fitter and turner, which is what my father was. 

A few weeks past, and this boy became a regular visitor to our house. It didn't take me long to have a huge crush on him. He was funny, cute, and  he didn't treat me like some whore, he actually was nice, and friendly, and we too became friends. 


At the time my brother had broken up with his girlfriend and they were fighting over custody. It was a difficult time, and he was a very supporting mate, and thankfully my brother did get full custody of his daughter, and trust me he was the more stable parent, and he now lived with us and we helped him raise his little girl, who I adored.


My 17th birthday came, and he bought me a blue teddy bear I named Nat. He still sits on our bed head, and has watched over us for years. By my birthday I was completely head over heels for this boy, who I didn't think liked me one bit in that way, but occasionally I did get the feeling he might, but then I had mistaken a guys friendliness for more deeper affection before, so I was determined not to make the same mistake again and get hurt.  So this time he would have to make all the moves.


It wasn't easy for him, I did, or so I thought, try and give him clear clues that I REALLY LIKED HIM, but he didn't seem to get them. So I just waited, hoped, prayed, that he one day he would like me the way I like him.


Then came that fateful weekend. My brother was going down the coast, and would be away all weekend. I was bummed about it has I knew that would mean that 'he' wouldn't be coming around to watch videos and hang out. So I kept myself busy that  Saturday. I did my chores, and then got stuck into my history assignment on WWII, Pearl Harbour in fact.

I was almost done, in the middle of drawing a Japanese bomber, when the phone rang. I picked it up never expecting it to be him. 

"Hello, it's Richard"

I remember my pulse racing, I nervously played with my hair and steadied my voice.

"Hi, erm Tony's not here? He is away for the weekend...."

"I know...." came his reply, then awkward silence.

Shit, shit, oh yes, wow, why, what does this mean, stay cool, bollocks, crap, shit, yes , yes, no don't read too much into this, he is probably just bored.............my head was in a zillion mode.

Awkward silence................


"So what are you doing today?" finally he broke the quiet.

"An assignment for history..."

"Oh, what on?"

"Pearl Harbour..."

"Oh I know a lot about that, I have some books that might help you?"

I was about to say , No that's OK I have finished all the questions, but I stopped myself. Instead I said, "Really, that would be great.....how come?"

He was a model maker, and part of the hobby is researching the planes, and finding out all the ins and outs, so he did in fact have  books on the subject and pictures. Loads of pictures.

Through discussing this I told him a fib. I said I was trying to draw a pane, but it looked retarded. Well it wasn't that bad, but I knew he could draw really well, and so I gave him an opening to see if he would come help me, I really just wanted to see him. I was missing him so much. Weekends just were not the same without a visit from him.


To my surprise he offered to pop around, and help me with my homework, he offered to draw the pane for me, while I finished the assignment questions.

"Oh really, you would do that? I don't want to put you out or anything?" YES YES YES.................

"No it's cool, I'll go look for the books and I'll come over, see you soon"

It was the longest hour of my life. 

1. I had to rub out my just about completed plane.
2. Draw another half hearted one that looked crappy.
3. Brush my teeth, hair, and change my top.
4. Tell my mother that he was coming over to help me with my homework.
5. Brush my hair again.
6. Bite my nails

Then he was there, smiling, and books in hand, his own pencils, and my stomach did flip flops.

Thanking him maybe a little more than I should have, I was nervous as hell, and  feeling silly.... he just laughed, and said "it's OK really, I like drawing planes."

I sat next to him, and went through his books, he drew, and I read, and took out some really good information, and used it in my essay, which I had to re-write again as computers where not invented, and so with the new info I had to start again.

It was nice. He was a perfectionist, and an artist, and his plane looked amazing. We chatted effortlessly , and as the homework was just about done, I became sad, thinking that he will go home now. 

Mum was cooking ravioli for dinner, and so I asked him if he'd like to stay for dinner, to say thanks for helping me out. Yes it's true, I wanted to repay him for his help, and also was desperate to keep him with me just a bit  longer. 

He said YES. 

We ate dinner, then I helped mum wash up, and we then hung out in front of the TV. I can't even tell you what was on. Probably "HEY HEY it's SATURDAY", but then I have no clue.

It was getting later and later, and mum had actually gone to bed. The clock was ticking closer  and closer to midnight and we were both aware that he would have to go home soon.

Getting up, he said he best go, and I thanked him again for all his help, our eyes locked, and I was mentally telling him that I really, REALLY like you, and he looked down at the floor, and then went to walk out, but stopped and turn back and looked at me. 

I held my breath...............

He took a few deep breaths himself, and then just came out with it.

"You can say no if you want to, I'll understand, but I really like you, and I was wondering if you would go out with me?"

HALLELUJAH! Finally after months of trying to drop hints he finally understood that I would absolutely love to go out with him.

I smiled so big, and he smiled nervously back, and I said "YES, I'd like that"

Then he jumped in the air, and spun around, touch the floor and yelled "TOUCH DOWN" and went home.

I stood there grinning like a silly cat, and wondering what the hell just happened.

Then next day, when he popped over , my brother  was back home. We couldn't stop smiling and grinning at each other. But I did have to clear something up with him......

"When you asked me last night if I'd go out with you....." a worried look shot across his sweet face ".....did you mean go out on a date, or go out as in going out, like be your girlfriend? It's just I wasn't really sure, and I wouldn't want to get the wrong end of the stick?......."

He relaxed a little " No, I meant would you be my girl friend, I really hope that you will?"

"Oh  good, yes, I was hoping that is what you meant, I just wasn't sure if that is what you meant, and I didn't want to look silly, so I thought I better just clear that up, cause ......." I ramble when I am nervous.

He just smiled like he won lotto. I was on the moon. So high. 2 weeks after that day he kissed me for the first time, and we have stayed best friends ever since. It really is in his kiss!

Last night our daughter said that today wasn't really an anniversary  that our wedding date is really the anniversary. Hubby told her that if I hadn't of said yes that night, we wouldn't have had a wedding so in fact this date is more important, and I couldn't agree more.

This morning I woke up and read this on face book.............. I am glad I fibbed about my homework, or this may never have happened.......

 

3 hours ago · 

27 years ago today I asked Criss to be my girlfriend. She said yes!

This song pretty much sums up how I feel about her. She really is the greatest thing about me.

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  If It's Love by TRAIN with LYRICS

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  all credits and rights belong to it's rightful owners i love this song... ^_^

  
  

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    Criss Chafer  I'd say YES to you again and again, and again. You are the best choice I have ever made in my life, and without you I'd be lost. You are the other side of me, without you I am just half a person.  So glad I told you a fib about my homework 

    A few seconds ago · Edited · Like
    
    
    
    
    

I'm sorry............

Sorry it has been a while, life, work, kids, school holidays, hay fever, and I haven't been too well. I am currently laid up at home again, with this blasted back. Between you and me I am pretty much over it. Someone shoot me now, they would have years ago if I was a horse.

So between doctors and physio, and calls back and forth to work, sleeping, heat packs, reading, and watching dvd's and needing hubby to help me dress/shower, I am doing just dandy.


Jen has been amazing as always. Picking up our boys from school, making me cups of tea. Not saying a thing about the fact that I need a shower desperately. And boy did I. It was the best shower in ages, apart from the fact I couldn't wash from the waist down, but just to feel clean again. LOVELY. 

Child 1 is doing child care at TAFE College, and decides that last night would be a great time to practice on her brothers and her mother, that's me, a few of her new learned knowledge. Problem was no one cared for it. Not one bit. 

1. Yesterday was day one back at school. Both boys tried, hungry, and worn out.

2. Instead of coming home and relaxing, they had no choice but to accompany dad and I to the doctors. I can't drive. Because Child 1 missed her bus home, and would be late, the boys had no choice but to suck it up and deal with it.

3. So after the doctors, hubby said we really need to grab a few things, we have no food. Well I was planing a big shop on Sunday, but Sunday I couldn't move without making pathetic ouchie noises.

So  with 2 over tired, extremely hungry boys, and a mother who now was in A LOT of PAIN, and very short tempered, and a Dad who was trying to feed himself and us, and get himself to work, things between 6-8pm around here got really stressful.



Child 1 decided that the boys needed to do things, job things, like vac, and sweep. I just wanted everyone to shut up and get ready for bed, and have a cup of tea. 

Child 1 spoke to everyone like we were 3. The youngest was getting pissed off, and going off, and this in turn was stressing me out, and the things I needed for them to do conflicted with Miss new age teacher. 

I needed, teeth brushed, school bags on bench, lunch boxes sorted, school notes handed over, homework if any done, thankfully they didn't have any. Then chill out watch ONCE UPON A TIME, BED.


But Miss Pants had a bee in her bonnet, she had and I am really grateful, washed the dishes, and did 2 loads of laundry. Mopped the floors, and was not feeling well herself. She gets cysts often, and she was a bit off from it, but that didn't stop her from correcting my parenting, and busy bothering her siblings.


She failed to discuss that this was a homework assignment she needed to do, and she failed to think that her timing may have been really off. After all a 7 and 10 year old, had just spent an hour in a doctors surgery  then had to help shop, and help mum about the shop as she was utterly slow and useless  but hubby did his best running about grabbing what he thought we needed and what he thought he can manage cooking. So we will be having  A LOT of oven ready meals.


So the end result was Me going off, and the boys getting whip lash from my instructions and hers. They ended up going to bed late, as no one was ready at 8:30 pm, and I was ready to, if I could have, give her a swift kick up the bum for treating me like a child. 


I may not be able to function at the moment , but when I am functioning  this house sings, and she is the last person to be giving me household advice, or parenting advice.



Once everything settled down, and I had made my own bloody cup of tea, I was able to understand what she was doing. Shaking my head I  almost cried. Have this generation completely lost their common sense?

I gave her a heads up, next time, discuss what you need to do with mum and dad first. Then wait for us to give you the green light for your child hood experiments.


What she forgets is she is away with friends and boyfriend, often. All weekend, the boys have helped their dad look after me. They do jobs all the time. It is her who pulls her weight  at random intervals. So it was really pissing me off, this high and mighty, quiet, patronising voice,  belittling everyone, just like my school teacher sister always does. We hate it from her, so why would we accept  from our daughter/sister??



Anyway, I have also decided to never PLAN A DATE again.

This weekend marks the anniversary of when Hubby asked me out. 27 years ago that was. So I thought we could escape to the movies and have a dinner/lunch, I really didn't care which, and go see the new romantic comedy "ABOUT TIME".


First sign that this was not going to happen was that child 1 had made plans to go away that weekend. So she couldn't babysit.

Then I go do my back at work. Many thanks to the hostile customer who probably helped push me over the edge. So no one is going anywhere.

This happened the last time a date was planned. We still have free movie tickets to use. That was back in APRIL. Yep we still haven't had a date. We can't catch a brake.



So I will just have to be spontaneous, and use a code word for date, as my bones seem to like to screw around with me, and sweep me off my feet  in not the same way I'd imagined it.



Take care, stay safe, be happy. 

A mix of things today....

First t let me just say that I am very pissed off about this!

This really sucks. People paid a lot of money to go see her. Tickets up to $140. My friends daughter went here in Adelaide, and  she showed up 80 mins late, and was very non polite when fans booed her. She offered no "I'm sorry" either. CRAP. Go fuck yourself you self ungrateful girl. That is not the way to treat the people who made you who you are.....your fans. I never liked you, and I can see now I never will. Sad, sad woman. Go learn a thing a or two from PINK.



OKAY...that is now off the chest........


NEXT................


Today my BFF popped round and gave me a lesson on SUSHI making....

It took hours, and mine were not as pretty as hers, but I did get the hang of it, and it was YUMMY.


This is how mine turned out.....

I can't see a future for me at the 'Cherry Blossom' shop, but I can certainly try this again, at home...for my lot.

THANK YOU Jen, for a lovely day.

Saw this on face book today and I laughed. I shared it with MISSY PANTS, and I must admit, I may, if I feel well at the time, just do this to her when she goes away for her long weekend. I am utterly sick of her room. The last time she cleaned it....(which was because I said she couldn't go out with the new boyfriend, unless her room was clean) lasted 24 hours!  Yikes, what can I say she is a teen-aged slob! Hubby keeps reminding me that she is not me, and I must not judge her by my standards. But I do, and it makes me prickle when she sloth's out of bed at 1 pm, and then sits there silly faced at her laptop, and phone...yes both at the same time, like a zombie, and just shuts off everyone. Unless I ask her to do something she just doesn't move. If she didn't need lifts to and from work, we may never really see her except meal times, if that! When does this stage end??

Here is a our little friend who popped in to see us the other day. I took the pic with my tablet, so it isn't too clear. It is hard to zoom, and I have no inbuilt flash, so it looks a bit yellow. But the picture doesn't really do it justice. It was the size of my hand, which might give some idea. Cute. We couldn't keep him because child 3 has become a bit fearful of spiders. He wasn't before Missy Pants' last boyfriend who was utterly PETRIFIED of them. Since the day he almost jumped out of our car because a huntsman......... which is what this spider is.............. ran across the windscreen............. mind  you I was driving at the time...............thank goodness for LOCKED DOORS.....child 3 is now also SCARED of SPIDERS. The young boy went on and on about why spiders are so bad, and I guess it just stuck. THANK YOU for that. So hubby collected him and we put him outside. They are totally harmless to us, as their fangs are too small to bite through our skin. Mine you I still don't want the bloody thing to walk all over  me, but it can hang out in the bathroom, that's cool.

Hope you are having a good week so far... till next time...  

I'll always be LITTLE MISS CHATTERBOX..........

I think I will always be in trouble for talking.............story of my life. 
Over the last two months at work, we had to get assessed for a licence to work in my area, and I lost points for talking too much. ME! Who could have predicted that?

On my kindergarten report card the teacher wrote "She is a CHATTERBOX", it has pretty much been down hill from there. LOL


I was the only one to score full marks in 2

areas and it would have been 3, had I not been such a chatter  box.

I can talk to my customers, that's no problem, it is the chatting in-between. You know when I am not busy and just cleaning my work area..... 

My boss would like me to work on that over the next six months and score a perfect 5 for next time. BAHAHAHAHAHA........

People like to talk to me. I like to talk to people. I am actually very shy at first. REALLY, I am.....STOP LAUGHING.......but once I am comfortable, I can pretty much natter about anything, and I do!

Will I apologise for who I am? Nope. This is me... and I although I may try and curb my social efforts at work, if someone comes to say hi to me, I am going to say a big old HOWDY back. 

I will ask you how you are? Enquire over your sick puppy, your lost keys, your sore knee, your studies, your date last night.....whatever we were chatting about the last time we chatted. 

On the positive side it was very nice to hear that I am actually considered very good at my job, and that customers write in about me weekly to tell them how much they appreciated my customer service. This was only recent news to me, and very nice to hear. 

Truth is I love my job. I care about my regulars. We have get together's, and sometimes it sounds more like a party than a supermarket. I get hugs, kisses, chocolates, and today was offered a box of biscuits which I had to kindly decline. I have even been proposed to. I think that is what makes the difference, I actually appreciate my job, I have had many jobs, and this one by far has been the best paid, and the nicest of working environments.

Take away the idiotic policy's that come and go, and the walk through of bosses, mostly good, but some have been utter wankers, and the inevitable shit house bad tempered customers, it really is a good place to work. They have been really good to me in my situation, and for that I am very grateful.

Sometimes my customers can actually bring me out of my dull-drums. It works both ways.  As one man said "I am a good sort".

So I scored pretty darn good, and I was very chuffed about that, and I lost marks for talking..........well I can live with that......question is will they??

Anyone who knows me, and everyone I mentioned it to today, at work, when I wasn't talking between customers, just laughed.

Yeah, I laughed too......this is one challenge I believe I will not be able to rise to. I can't help myself. It would be a bloody long shift with no one to talk to. 

LIFE IS SHORT.....................Have fun while you can............ ;)