When life and movies don't mix..........

 Well good morning, or should I say it might have been???

This is me, well not actually me, but you get the picture.... That's right, I have woken up feeling crappy, tired, and not at all in the mood to want to smile and play the perfect housewife/mother/friend/anything!

Today I am sulking. I have the inner most desire to want to stamp my feet and grumble that life isn't fair! 

But you know I won't do that. No not me. Just here in my little blog do I really let go and and occasionally let my more negative side have it's way with me. Lately that's the only thing having it's way!

As you can see, I must be getting better, because I have again become flirty, cheeky, cake baking, sweet. However despite all my efforts it has come to nothing! 

Even with the promise, the before work taster, the welcomed and very much liked and enjoyed nipple kissing and special kissing of MR's best friend.... ZIP!

Everything that could have gotten in the way last night did.

Hubby came home happy from work, I think he is just relieved to be back and all is OK. The whole family home, rare these days as child 1 is always at the boyfriends house. 

I make him dinner, like the good wife. While he was away, I had cleaned the house. Dishes no longer piled on the bench tops, the basket of laundry now washed and hanging on the line by the heater, and the 3 baskets of folded washing was now all safely put away. Even the loo was clean.

Well that is a big deal for me....considering I haven't been able to take care of myself for weeks. Still can't put on my bloody socks and shoes! 

Mistake number 1:

Hubby failed to notice a difference to the house!


WHAT?


Can you not smell the pine-o-clean freshness! Can you not SEE the vacant space on the bench tops that are now free from the kids spilt milo! Can you not see the dish rack is full of CLEAN WASHED DISHES. Can you not see the BINS are EMPTY!


NOPE!



Nevermind, I held it together, I put that smile on my face, after all tonight was ours...... I made him dinner while the kids stole ALL his attention. I am yet to even get a hug in.

He LOVED his dinner, and the movie I had gotten for us to watch. JACK and the GIANT SLAYER. The whole family stayed up. It was nice, lovely, something we had not done in ages.

Then once movie was done, we sent the boys to bed, and I told Miss child 1 it was also time for her to go to bed as she has work today. It was 11:30 pm, by then. 

FINALLY US TIME. I had anticipated this all night.

Time  ALONE, adult time. SEX. I have craved for for a VERY LONG TIME!

So hubby asked if I'd like to watch "Spartacus" with a winning grin....sure, why not, well buffed men, half dressed, hot naked women, sex, lust, yes that's the right idea. My tummy did a flip flop dance. Tonight's the night.

This season is very good, so we end up watching 3 in a row. By now the kids are all sound asleep, and the time is now getting on. 2 am. I am getting tired, but I am not caving in. I am spending this time with my man, and any moment he is going to take me to bed and make me do and submit to most delightful deeds!  

YES.........................


NO!


Out of nowhere I get TONE!

'Honey it's late, don't you think you should go to bed?'

"Ummm yes, but........" I sit there in the dark room with just the light from the TV set to give away my horror.

'The boys will be up early, and our teenaged daughter won't be up till after mid-day, and I won't be up till after mid-day, so I really do not think it is fair that the boys be up all alone for hours do you?'

WTF!

I was in that fraction of a second LIVID!

I had spent hours getting ready for us. Making sure that when I got up nothing needed doing, that the kids were OK, set up with food, and DVD's to watch. It won't kill them, they have been fending for themselves for weeks, and looking after us...............REALLY!



I was MAD. I was so MAD I could not even speak.

This is how I felt.................just in reverse...................................  AAARRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH



I got up, went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth again, and got myself ready for bed. IN SILENCE. 

I found my heat pillows and zapped them in the microwave. Something he would do for me. SILENCE.

Our happy bonding evening had just collapsed into a silence from HELL. The air was COLD. No longer was I smiling. In fact I was numb. Numb with rejection, and hurt. 

Hurt because I knew that in a hour or so I me being asleep, he would be wanking to some mindless porn, and getting off, while I lay there FRUSTRATED and SAD. I could have masterbated too sure, but I was too mad to now wasn't I!!!


He made his way down the hall to say good night. I had failed to say night and kiss him in my usual manner. 

HINT number 2! I guess he got that one.

The cat was on our bed purring and demanding pats.

He stood by my bedside and patted the cat, talking sweetly to the cat, and I screamed inside silently wishing that he would just take the fucking cat and let me sleep so I can get up and be a MOTHER to our children. Wasn't that why I was going to bed, so that I could sleep....???

After a few minutes, he spoke......

'Are you MAD at me?'

"NO!" I spat. I am not a good liar. I couldn't even hide the hurt from it.

'Yes you are'

Well give the man a prize. I think if the tables were turned I would have been called a PRICK TEASER!


So I stated that I resented the notion of being a BAD MOTHER, when I was just trying to spend time alone with my husband.

It was true, I was pissed that it all came down to me, not that our boys have even noticed me this morning. Both very happy playing games, and watching TV, haven't moved an inch since I got up 3 hours AGO! haven't needed a bloody thing from me! Oh yeah I am so fucking needed here!

What I wanted was us to be kissing, and touching, and licking, and sucking, and to finish what we started all those hours ago. I wanted to connect, to FUCK, for my mind to escape the bondage of this life and be utterly free, and for us to have one hell of an ORGASM!

Then I would sleep, and rest and wake up HAPPY. 

Isn't that what happens in the movies. Wife makes the whole world happy. Gives man what he likes, and he sweeps her off her feet and makes sweet  sweet love to her?????

So here I am telling you all of my sexual failings. Of my frustrations. Of my crazy inner head thoughts of jealousy over a cat and internet porn and resentment of being a not needed mother!

I will rise above. I will not pout much. I will be me, put on a smile, pretend that having stayed up for pointless hours on a promise of sexual bliss has had no adverse effect on my mental health. Especially after watching 3 hours of hot TV. No I am not HORNY! I am a LADY. Ladies don't like nor feel the need for sex, it is just something they endure for their man................FUCK THAT!


I shall pay no attention to my screaming body, or my lustful thoughts which are now mixed with bitter words of "What do you care?". 

This is not the way to proceed. I know that this path will only take me away from my goal, as it will make HIM mad, and not like me much.

Well HORNY me doesn't like him much either at the moment......

But the rest of me does. The most of me...the friend me, the wife me. 

So YES, when he wakes I will hide my true feelings. I will smile. I will stand by him. He'd better just not give me the shits, or I may not be able to keep up this nice me. I am a razor on the edge.


But if he is HIM, and not all pissy, then we will be just FINE, and who knows, maybe later I just might get my wish.........................

I may just get my movie ending after all???????

I am taking another deep fucking breath!

The work drama's continue.........


After going back to the doctor's for a 4th time...... I have to go back again today for attempt 5. I could have been working all week!

These bloody return to work forms are a nightmare....... My Doctor wont agree that I can lift 7.5ks for everything, meaning right hand, left hand, above head, below knees, doing the hockey pokey, and turning around........ which is right! I can't, and I am not meant to either. It is not what I do anyway. It was all scrapped after I went to self serve check outs, and removed from Night-fill, as lifting is not good for me.

The problems lies with the work cover Doctor who treated me last year when I was rushed to hospital after hurting myself at work, lifting boxes off the low section of my roll cage, which shall we add were not meant to be there for me! Long story, no need to go there....

He cleared me for self serve, and 20 min spells on express lane check outs, with store greeting duties. We all understood, and I went back to work. What he didn't do is actually fill out this type of form which spells out everything. It was all agreed on in a meeting with the work cover lady, the Doctor, and me in his rooms.The Doctor was left to write me a vague whiff of the above conditions,  penned down in one line on a sick form, and so now, they (WORK) are going off my night-fill quota restrictions which are now over 2 years old, which is all the actually weight bearing restrictions they have written down on paper.  

Now my current treating Doctor is booked out today, and he is then away, going on a long weekend away. Not back till TUESDAY, probably needs it after seeing me 4 times this week with this bloody form! My work cover doctor is away too, annual leave...back at the end of the month. So this afternoon I am going to see Dr POPE       (maybe he can perform a miracle?), and I hope and pray he is comfortable with filling out a form for me even when he has not been my treating doctor for this current flare up.... if not I am screwed until my doctors are back from holidays! 

So I will be home today, and not at work. I will be home Friday as I need to hand in paper work, and then wait for the work cover people, and then my store bosses to all agree that all the T's are crossed and all the i's dotted, for this absolute paper work of restrictions that are not actually relevant to my current position.

Just as well as I feel crappy. The extra stress is not helping, and the tension is causing havoc. I need to just breathe in and out and trust that it will be all OK.

Maybe the universe is watching out for me while I can't watch out for me because I am too busy worrying about how the fuck I will catch up on all the bills. If I can't get back to that 7.5kgs I am in deep trouble.  They wont let me work. I will be as good as unemployed.

It never just rains!

Well hello my darlings..............

Well it's 10.48 pm and hubby is back at work....first shift in 6 weeks...so how better to make him feel special and to show him how much I love him........than to BAKE A CAKE!

It has been a full on day. Hubby had the dentist this morning, a filling, while I took the kids to school and the car to it's first complementary service. (WHAT A WASTE OF TIME!) I literally sat there  looking at my car for 50 mins thinking when are they going to take it in. Only to find out it was ready that whole time. They didn't even give it a good clean like they told me they would. How can you service a car, and wash / vac it in 10 mins??? I had a lot of shit to do today. 9.30am till 10.41 am....... but it's OK now....letting it go.......

I have been trying to get back to work, but the red tape is causing trouble. The doctor wrote down something that didn't match up with work restrictions, so I have spent the past two days going back and forth. So tomorrow I have yet another doctors appointment, (I swear they are going to start talking about us soon!), and then another drive into work, and with any luck we can all agree that I can return to normal duties as of Thursday.

To say the mornings events set my mood into a massive stress, and grumpy, is an understatement. Not to mention we had another Hospital appointment for child 3 and his ADHD management. So I was in total stress worry fret mode. Let's not mention that my sexual drive has started to creep back in, but hubby is still not quite there yet, so for the past several days I have been a bit  frustrated on top. In fact I have been like a yo yo between horny-frisky and utter don't touch me! 


So you see my poor man has been so wonderful with my ups and downs, and as always stayed steadfast. So he really does deserves his CAKE!

I still can't put on my socks, or tie my shoes, yet, but I hope this simple function returns soon. He has been helping me each morning, but tomorrow he'll be asleep, so I have child 2 lined up for shoe duty. He thinks it's funny, I think it is the scariest things ever. My 10 year old has to help me put on my shoes!!! Just not right.....


Any who, Our Mr ADHD, as of tomorrow morning starts a trail run of medication. It is just 1/2 a tablet in the morning for the first 3 days, then 1/2 morning and at lunch time, then it will go up to 1 full, then 1/2 at lunch. If it has the desired effect , we should see a more focused boy at school. It is just for school days. It will have worn off by bed time, so we may not see much of the results our end. The whole doctors appointment was spent with him touching EVERYTHING, not sitting STILL, and asking the doctor about 100 QUESTIONS. Totally normal really. 

I need to get his teacher on board as she will have to medicate him at lunch. She has a report to fill in for the doctor too, so he can see if the experiment trail is working for him. We have hummed and arrrred about this for several years, and we have now reached the point where we realise he needs help, and he needs a chance to do well. I am hoping for good things to happen, although I do realise that in just 3 weeks we will not be anywhere over the hump, but fingers crossed we are on the track to good times. He can't be stuck in year 1 forever. 


11.11 pm now, and I just got a text from my man. He has had a good shift, and I am a bubble of excitement he as been sent home early. I was worried about him been thrown in the deep end. It's good if he eases back in. 6 weeks of not doing heavy lifting will take it out of anyone. I am nervous about my first shift back too. I just have to do it and see. Until I do I wont know how well I will cope with it or not. 


Life is just as always fun fun fun..... I just need to keep reminding myself it is all OK, and to stop sweating the small stuff. 

Now we just have to work and start paying back our poor credit card. It has taken a beating over the last 6 weeks, and thank goodness it was there, or we would have been in deep poo poo!



Must go check on my CAKE! Hubby will be here soon. 

Till next time. KEEP SMILING.

My dear Wife.....&..... Today while I was shopping..............

My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 22-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset—I shall be home before midnight. 

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: 

My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old. As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 22 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths  you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 22 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 22. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Today :

I never expected a routine shopping trip at our local shops, to end up at the Police Station. 

This afternoon, in the chip aisle, I was stopped by a Middle Eastern man,in his early 20's, with an intellectual disability. 

He stopped me and said 'hello' and held out his hand as if to want to shake mine.

I said 'hello' back, but he didn't move but came closer extending his hand out more, so I politely shook it, and then went to remove it from his grasp.

But the man had my hand then, and he was now shoving it inside his jacket and holding it tightly under his arm pit. 

'Tickle me' he asked.

'No' and I tried to take back my arm.

'Tickle me' he said louder.

'I don't want to tickle you, NO' I said more firm, but it made no difference.

An old lady was coming closer and saw my distress and stopped to watch.

By this stage I had my arm back out of his jacket but he caught my wrist and was pushing up my sleeve. I used my other hand to pull my sleeve back down, as he push it up again, and took my spare hand and was trying to force me to cuddle him.

'Tickle me please' he said.

'NO' snatching my hands back and looking around for some help.

He then held my semi exposed arm and began dragging it down the front of his shirt towards his penis.

'Please Tickle me' he groan at me again.

Now I was freaked out. Cornered, and no where to run, can't run anyway, sore back, thinking this man is going to hurt my back if he tugs me down any harder, I just SCREAMED out at the to of my lungs my hubby's name, who was a few aisles down. 

This made him stop, and he said 'No, no, no...', and waving his arms about as if I needed to stop screaming and he ran away. 

All this took place with child 2 standing next to me. We both where a bit shocked. The store manager checked the footage, and now the police will contact centre management so that the other shop owners will be aware if he comes out shopping again. 

It was really surreal, and has left me a little shaken. He is a strong lad, and really should not be allowed to roam about alone, with those kind of sexual urges.

Hubby went out to look for him, but he was long gone. I am OK now now. The staff were really nice to me. But honestly people like that should not be allowed out without a carer.

Oklahoma..........

Biggest on record. Over 3km in length. On the ground for over 45 mins. Winds over 300km/hr. Those poor people. It hit them during the school run. I heart goes out to all those people. I can not even imagine how scary it would have been to live through something like this, and they are saying on the news that it may not be over yet as it is the season, and they could get more! 


This is what I woke to this morning. My hubby telling me "Hey come take a look at this, you are not going to believe it!" Then there on the news today I listened to the reporter stating that the biggest Tornado in our history, hit Oklahoma. As I sit here with the news updating constantly on the TV, eating my breakfast, drinking my tea. Safe, warm, I can't tell you how utterly surreal this feels.

This week our planet has experienced so much. I am not sure if you are aware, but this week we've had hail stones the size of soccer balls, multiple volcanoes erupting simultaneously, various earthquakes, large marine deaths, fireballs, meteors and now this! ALL IN 1 WEEK!

Think its pretty safe to say something is wrong yes!

I am not making this shit up, check out the links below. 

Oklahoma my prays are with you now. 

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/tornado-oklahoma-city-moore-205548879.html



http://www.examiner.com/article/nws-3rd-largest-hail-stones-on-record-mississippi-fell-monday-s-storms

http://rt.com/news/qe2-asteroid-approach-earth-469/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaN8AxMJXKU&feature=share

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abtvtI_eM4M&feature=share

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVbIeiraU0w&feature=share

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_v0LN-Uypc&feature=share

TUNA...................

The other day we ran out of CAT FOOD............

The cats were mortified......

So Hubby fed them real human TUNA........

You're thinking that they died and went to kitty heaven aren't you??

Like these two happy pussy's......

 NOPE, they didn't touch it, not a bit, and they were hungry alright.

FEED ME.............

Makes you wonder WTF is in the TUNA??

Let's talk about SEX!

Sex, sex, sex..............

Have you ever been so horny that you almost turn into a mega irritable BITCH?

Well maybe that's just me?

But I'd say no, it's not just me or else we wouldn't have had HYSTERIA listed as a medical illness not so long ago in our history! 

Now how funny would that be now, just picture it, going to the doctors so that he could masturbate you till you had ORGASMIC relief! 

But at least the invention of the vibrator came out of that, and aren't we all pleased about that?? SOMETHING JUST FOR US that isn't meant for cooking and cleaning!!

So glad women of today are much more informed and have a better knowledge of the function of the CLITORIS.

I read about a survey on waxing...well waxing down there...you know going the full Monty on your girl bits. I am happy to report that most men actually like a bit of hair there! Neat, not over the top bush, we don't want a jungle, but definitely a plus for the sexy turn on factor! THANK BLOODY HEAVENS.

I never did understand the crazy trend to want to turn your womanly features into pre-pubescent skinned rabbit looking things. Not to mention how much having a FULL XXX WAX would HURT! I have always wondered about the itch factor of growing the hair back too. Don't you just hate the itchy bikini line? Once those nicely shaped pubes start making a come back, it's just prickle city! To think of that all over could almost make me weep.

But it isn't always about the masturbated orgasm is it?  Sometimes even that isn't enough. I wonder if that is why gay women sometimes come across as very bitchy, or cranky? Gay men always seem well GAY, as in HAPPY, but I can not say the same for all gay women in my day to day exposure. I have had a few gay work friends both male and female, so I am not just rambling, it is just pure observation. Or may be it's just the vegetarian factor, who knows? 

I can only speak from personal experience that there are times when only a good ROMP will do the trick. Really. There is something almost chemical about it. I feel well after wards. I look younger. I am balanced. It never fails to amaze hubby, even after all these years. What can I say he must have healing spunk? Or Maybe it's just me?? No I really think it is a hormonal chemical exchange and for some unknown reason it fixes whatever emotional unbalance I have, INSTANTLY. Well multi-orgasms are pretty awesome too.

Too much? No don't cringe. Don't be afraid. It's 2013 and we still are red faced about SEX?

It's normal. It's healthy, and for a loving couple it is darn right important.

     I watched a program on the ABC channel recently called "7 Days Of Sex". Basically two couples, who's sex lives had hit a real low, agree to an experiment to see if having sex for 7 days in a row will bond them or break them.

Now when the male partners all tell their mates that they are doing this, he almost becomes a figure of complete ore and wonder. As if he has hit the holy grail. That lucky bastard, he gets a guaranteed romp for 7 days! Slap on back please................The women usually cringe. WHY?

What I found most interesting is the women also want more loving sex, but are needing their husbands to understand why they may be choosing to sleep rather than YEAH BABY!

It isn't always played out in that fashion either, sometimes it's the women utterly frustrated with their once upon a time Romeo's who has now become sir-work-a-lot, or just another child to mother in the house. 

What I liked is how over the course of the week, the couples each have days were their wishes need to be addressed, and this seems to always open the doors to communication, and BINGO, all of a sudden, the fireworks start happening.


So what have we learned thus far????

1. Communication is key to any good relationship.
2. Honesty. 
3. Trust.
4. Respect.
5. Friendship
6. LOVE.

This this really all we need as the base for any good relationship? Is it really that simple?

Well I think it's a good start. For without these six ingredients, your cake will not rise, and the base will burn. That is a given.

So the couples are for a better word forced to get it on. Day 1 usually has the man very happy, but  the women are more, how shall we say, not quite there yet!

I shake my head and just want to scream. Scream at them both. 

"Hey mate, maybe if you help about the house, and with the kids, or made dinner, or gave a general flying fuck about your wife, she would be more accommodating in the bedroom! Doing the dishes or cooking dinner for your woman who may be really tired after working too is classed in most women's minds as a type of FOREPLAY. Also for fuck sake GO DOWN SOUTH!"

"Hey lady, if you were not such a bitch factor 2000, and asked for what you needed, and showed your husband how much you really do appreciate how hard he works for you, and has provided for you, and given you such a nice house to live in, maybe he would respect you more???"

"HEY COUPLES, sex should not be this hard? You can say the word, SEX, yes that's right SEX, Don't just spell it out like it will curse you and place warts all over your face..... "Well it's day 4 and we just had.....S....E.....X.... task achieved!"  OH YUCK!

You are married. You are allowed to FUCK. You are allowed to really enjoy it too. You can also say ORGASM.  One lady's hubby announced that finally she had reached a climax, and had an orgasm. She wasn't able to get there in the days before this. She flipped. She was mortified, stating that her parents would watch this!

WHAT?

Hate to tell you hon, but we are all watching, and what I find so sad is that you feel ashamed you had an ORGASM with your HUSBAND of 7 years, during SEX!

REALLY!!!

You should be smiling, happy, and heck woman you should have had two!

Why is this always coming up? 2013 and men and women are still struggling to please each other in the bedroom.

Would there be less divorce, and infidelity if couples could just connect well in the bedroom, and then transcend that connection into the rest of the home? 

Let me give you an example of one couple:

He is a pilot.

She is a stay at home mum to a very young baby.

He also has a child from another relationship that comes to stay off and on.

They were once a party hard, late night, sex anywhere, all the time type of folks. They enjoyed it, they had fun with it, and they since the birth of their son, now missed it A LOT.

He wants to still play, and party, and still pretty much has his life and not much has changed except his sex life.

She wants him to accept that they are parents now, and she can't just go out and party hard all night as she will not cope with the baby the next day. She also has attachment issues with the baby. Why can't he see that?

So on her day she left him to have a day essentially being her. As much as it killed her not to leave things ready for her baby, she did it. 

He had to look after their son, feed, change, and play with him, as well as cook a home made dinner.

Well, not that bad really. After all she does this sort of thing EVERYDAY right?

He is laughing and a bit nervous, but is thinking this isn't really as bad as she claims it to be.

So with a home cooked dinner to get ready, and baby to sort out he starts.

OH MY I WAS GOING TO WET MYSELF!

While she went out for a much needed day with the girls, he destroyed the kitchen.

He couldn't get the chicken right, and he was mixing this and that, he broke the mixer, and blocked the sink. Let's just say that what could have gone wrong did. His son was demanding, and he was with baby in sling, baby bottle in hand doing his best to make mashed potatoes.

Needless to say when his wife returned, her  rather tidy kitchen was a war zone. No home cooked dinner ready, and only her baby son was asleep.

the kitchen sink was blocked and all this smelly black goo was floating in the sink, and she stood there not knowing if she should laugh or cry. It looked like EVERY SINGLE plate, dish, spoon, was out and dirty, and he was a total mess, and very, very, humble.

Well she didn't get mad, and she remained patient as he fixed the pipes to the sink, and cleaned the dishes. 

It was very late now, early hours of the morning, and they still had to check off the box for day 3. Well now how very interesting that HE WAS SO TIRED, that sex wasn't what he REALLY wanted to do. But he did, and it wasn't great, and it was quick. SURPRISE.

So I guess sometimes a walk in someone else's shoes can really open up a new perspective. But why aren't couples already doing this?

Anyway, they each discovered by meeting each other in the middle, everyone was happy, and the sex then just came naturally, and freely, and ORGASMIC fun was had by all.

MEN:

1. Don't forget about romance. Not just candles, dinner, that is not what I am saying, but romance her mind. Show her you care by doing the little things. 
2. Tell her often how you feel about her.
3. Kiss and hug her just out of the blue with no strings attached.
4. Go down on your woman. LEARN WHAT THE FUCK A CLITORIS is, and how to PLEASURE IT.
5. Change it up a little.
6. Go slow, relax, touch. Kiss. Tell her how special she is.

WOMEN:

1. Remember your man has feelings too.
2. Tell him how well he is doing. Appreciate him for all he does. Don't just shoot him down. Allow him the opportunity to show you.
3. Loosen up and have fun sometimes. You wont get arrested if the dishes are not done before bed.
4. NEVER FAKE IT.
5. BLOW him occasionally. Don't just lie there and go through your to do list while he works away on you. It is hard work up there. You try doing 50-100 push ups. Help him. Get into into it. RELAX. You just might enjoy it??
6. Show him how and what you like. Tell him how good his cock is. 

Always make time for each other..................

Tease, flirt, have fun.........it is really very bonding, and when a couple works as a team in all things, sex isn't ever one of 'THOSE' issues. 

A woman who is treated well, feels safe, and well loved, will TRUST you, and if you are honest and truly LOVE her she will give you her all.

Spice it up a bit. Take charge. That is really sexy. Oh and Ladies, this applies to you too!

....and now for a bit of silly.......

 Just what would I do without FACEBOOK??

 Please don't answer that! lol

 I think we all know of someone who fits this description............

I bet a woman wrote this... it just has that female ring to it..... 

...and this next one is for a friend of mine who is having a bit of bother with her male boss....

It paints a perfect picture of her empowerment the other day.... don't you think? ^_^ 

I am baring my all to all now.....Please STOP LAUGHING............

Well I think the word 'DISTURBED' happened after child 3 and the lack of sleep endured for just over 2 years. 

OH YEAH...........but I reserve my paw waving to the imagination for now, as such excited movement may cause injury! 

arrrhhh Life is GOOD!

So true........... I gave life to my 3 kids, and they have in turn given me so much. Giggles, stretch marks, dark circles under my eyes, hugs, scars, pro-lapsed uterus, LOVE, bad back, LOVE, a messy house, constant worry, an extra roll of tummy fat, deformed nipples, LAUGHS, the ability to function almost normally with less than 4 hours sleep, HUGS, a new appreciation for bed time, JOY, the gift of time management, A LIFE WORTH LIVING.

You can only live rent free for so long kiddo! 

This is me trying to mediate and empty my mind! Bahahahahaha..........

I may not blow the sheets sky high, but man since reaching my forties my FARTS certainly have found their voice. Why is that? Sometimes they seem to have more to say than I do!  At least they are loud and sometimes funny, unlike my hubby who's FARTS come with stealth and are silent and deadly.....I swear small insects have died.... We always know when mum has popped beans in the soup! lol 

BE HAPPY. ALWAYS TRY TO FIND SOMETHING IN EACH DAY TO BE GRATEFUL FOR, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS YOUR WAY. BE YOU, YOU ARE WONDERFUL. TRUST....AND ABOVE ALL LOVE!